I got a traditional Chinese massage yesterday and the nice old man who provided it asked if I had any specific pain and I told him I’d been having quite bad knee pain for the last few weeks

Loyal followers might remember I had this same pain last year on my road trip & thought I’d developed Gas Pedal Knee, a grey nomad affliction Then some targeted Twitter ads had me thinking I had psoriatic arthritis!

I went to a doc & did all the tests & he rang me a few days later to assure me that thankfully I don’t have psoriatic arthritis. “Oh. Well what do you think it is then?” I asked him. “I dunno!” he exclaimed, in the manner of a baker asked a medical question as opposed to a doctor

Anyway! Knee got better summer hit & I thought I was cured but now the weather is getting colder it’s bad again.

Side note: if dating someone younger do not advise starting the day by stating “this cold weather’s made my knee sore!” cos they WILL look at you as if ur a pensioner

BACK TO CHINESE MASSAGE. He asked if he could apply a special herbal mixture to my knee and I said yes and he attended to it and it didn’t hurt anymore so, good for him. Five stars. Then he began to give me some hot tips on how to keep it feeling good.

He suggested I use a hair dryer on it at night and I was like, yeah ok, that kinda makes sense?

Now keep in mind for this next bit that he’d used a hot stone on it during the massage and I was on board with that so...

He told me to hard boil an egg.
“Yup, no problem”
Then take the shell off the egg.
“Ok! I can do that!”
Then open the egg in half...
“Ok...”
And place a silver coin where the yolk is.
“...”
Not gold! Must be silver!
“Ok...”

Once a silver coin is placed in the yolk, close the egg up again...
“I see...”
Then wrap it in a thin cloth...
“Uh huh”
And rub the egg all over your knee til the egg is no longer warm.
“Right.”
Then open the egg! The coin will change colour from your knee toxins!
“Well ok then!”

He also did the standard “you are only allowed to drink hot water now, never cold, not warm, just hot” speech which I get every time since apparently I’m like a waterlogged ball lol

Anyway! Feel extremely excited to try this egg technique especially cos a few keyword searches resulted in NOTHING online so I can’t even find skepticism about it on the web. I shall boil TWO eggs & place a coin in both but only rub ONE on my knee & see what happens to the coins

I will keep you updated on this scientific #INJESSTIGATION ( #INEGGTIGATION?)

Also bonus anecdote I told my mum this and she’s had ankle pain and refuses to see a medical professional (don’t get me started) but as soon as I told her about the egg she was revved, “oooh I’ll have to try that” here’s another thing to try mum FREE HEALTHCARE THAT’S AVAILABLE

Well that’s my latest story, another one that won’t make it to the memoir