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ok since some of you wanna be clowns full-time on here, here's a thread with actual canon evidence of why sam was never really favourably treated by john (like, he wasn't the "favourite son" - neither was) and he didn't "have a good childhood" or whatever
in s1, sam and john's rough relationship is constantly alluded to by both brothers: this isn't b/c he left, this is how their relationship was before he left. john is suggested to be outwardly highly critical of sam for not conforming to the hunting lifestyle like dean did
like this is just a joke lol so im not gonna read that much into it, but based on the way they talk in 1.08 it’s another little piece that shows sam and john having a difficult relationship compared to john and dean bc of sam's general insubordination
john also kicked sam out of the house and disowned him for wanting to go to college. when they talk about it, dean jumps to john’s defence, and in other eps dean’s been highly critical of sam’s choice here, so it’s not hard to imagine dean took john’s side that night too
(i should point out, for the dim-witted: this isn’t sam leaving for college. this is sam being kicked out. people go to college and visit their families on long weekends and holidays. this is not that. this is him being disowned, and sam’s phrasing reflects that, as did john’s:)
dean taking john’s side during john vs. sam fights is also something that’s noted as late as s14. this is NOT IN ANY WAY criticism of dean who is also an abused child, but just to note that the family dynamic was certainly not stacked in favour of sam, as dean specifically notes:
and you can see from that s14 quote that dean again acknowledges that things got “dicey” between sam and john, which doesn't suggest john treated him favourably. the following s15 quote (which i dont love for reasons but hey it’s canon) notes that sam needed protection from john
there's a lot to suggest that sam never felt like he belonged in his own family (e.g. this quote from lucifer and from 1x08 above) and that he felt like a freak not only as against the world but also as against john/dean. doesn't sound like a favourite child to me
there just isn't much canon proof of sam being treated favourably by john, other than like 1x18 where sam is a 5yo and john is being over-protective/yelling at dean over not protecting the younger child. also, here, as in every other flashback, john abandoned and neglected both
boys. you can take 1x18 as sam being the favourite child permanently and forever rather than just a reaction to one child being in life-threatening danger, but noting sam's young age and specific circumstances, and everything else in this thread, it’s a fairly thin argument.
for sure there's 9x07 where john obviously treats dean horribly by leaving him at sonny's for 2 months to punish him for gambling the money john left them but like, sam is also sent away to bobby's for that whole time and is in the dark it's not like he's with john being coddled
u can also take a demon’s word for it, who was actively trying to mess with dean’s head at the time, but i mean i wouldn’t lol? (also when dean susses out that john wouldnt be proud for not "wasting" a bullet to literally save sam's life, that's REALLY bad re sam too!) (1x22)
i've looked but there isn't any explicit canon evidence that john was physically abusive towards dean and not towards sam. in the comic tie-ins, john shoots sam (with a gun!) over a hot dog or something but not in the show. you can have headcanons but nothing's explicit but this:
i’ve also seen people say "if dean was insubordinate like sam was, john would’ve beat him which means he liked sam better!” which, again, isn’t.. canon? also when dean is canonically mouthy like sam, this is what john says to him, probably similar to what he says to sam:
john himself acknowledges that he was a drill sergeant NOT to just dean but also to sam. and it’s clear that sam not having it wasn’t something that john tolerated, hence all the evidence of them having a dicey and difficult relationship above. john did NOT like that abt sam.
some of sam’s happiest memories included some fuckin shack he was squatting in and a stray dog when he ran away, and someone else’s thanksgiving, and leaving home. if this is evidence to you that he was happy in his home life like... idk what to tell you? this is fucked up (5.16)
in 11x08, sam is nine and left alone in a motel (neglect) and even at nine he’s already been through some hunter training, corroborated by sam’s “raised like warriors” speech from the literal first episode, so he wasn’t as sheltered as ppl like to say he was, and at 9yo here +
+ he was already going on his first hunt by the end of the episode. yeah dean may have been younger as the episode says but it’s hardly like sam was being coddled here, or ever? he was 9 and hunting and being given a gun to shoot a monster when he was scared of the dark?
even before that he was neglected and abandoned frequently enough (by both john and dean - not dean's fault) to qualify for a zanna. if you’re gonna rightly claim that things like parentification are abuse, you can’t turn around and say that neglect isn’t also abuse lol
you can see that again in 7x03, where 15/16 y/o sam (alone again) is scared of john getting on the phone and isn’t being coddled even though he was left behind, he was being scolded, he was as much as part of the hunt as dean was, and made to shoulder significant responsibility
in the same ep, sam alludes to being on the receiving end of john’s drunken anger at least to some extent (or at least exposed to it) so again, any argument that he was shielded from that isn’t really based in canon. this was part of his childhood too as much as it was dean's.
same with dean talking about how angry john was in 14.11 when sam and dean tried to make mary's casserole-- sam was on the receiving end of that too, so any interpretation where sam was fully shielded from kinda thing in any meaningful way and dean wasn't doesn't really hold up
AND what’s also canon is john selling his soul to a demon to save dean’s life and using his dying words to tell dean that sam might be beyond saving so he might have to kill sam. that’s how the man chose to leave the world and ppl still wanna argue sam was favoured lol.
like if that’s something he thought was important enough to tell dean on his deathbed, you know that thought came to him well before then, probs when he learned abt sam’s powers or earlier. he prob thought about doing it himself. like. that’s fucked up dudes idk what else to say
and inb4 anyone tries to say dumb shit, this isnt saying sam had it WORSE than dean or that dean didnt have it really bad in different ways not mentioned here - only to say sam wasnt, like, favoured, he didnt have more of a childhood than dean, and john treated both boys badly
late stage additions i was reminded of that are worth noting: in 1.16 john reuniting with the boys but not hugging sam despite not having seen sam for 4(?) years at that point and even bobby noting that john pushed sam away, alluding to their broken relationship
sorry ignore the last tweet where it says john doesnt hug sam in 1.16 he does later in the scene that's my baddd but keeping the tweet up for the bobby comment and also it doesn't change the rest of the thread lol
