Hey kids, Youth Pastor Brett here! This Sunday I thought we could play some of this Magic the Gathering game that you're all into, and use this opportunity to learn about the one true Eternal Master!

Here's Oko, Thief of Crowns, my favorite card!

Do YOU know who ELSE could make food from thin air, was legendary and mythic, walked among the planes, and is banned by the authorities?

Oh look, Timmy just cast Feed the Serpent. You know, when Adam and Eve listened to the Serpent and fed on forbidden fruit, God exiled TWO creatures from Eden at once!

Isn't God amazing? Imagine, exiling two creatures with one instant!

Now, remember kids, if you look at the city of people doing butt stuff, God will turn your Arcane Signet into a Basalt Pillar. I don't want to use bad language here, but we all know that's a pretty crappy mana rock.

So no looking at internet porn!

Bookwurm, my favorite green creature. It's always great to know that if it dies it will come back to the battlefield from the graveyard in three turns. Know who else did that?

And as a bonus, it loves a Good Book!

Oh this puppy is so cute! You know who else sacrificed himself so we can have eter---

Oh, you do.

Yes, it's Jesus.

Okay, I summon Giant Ox, and next turn I can use it to crew my Colossal Plow. You know what they say about idle hands! Pass turn.

Wait, you what?

Targeting my Giant Ox?

No you can't do that!

We can't have a golden calf in church! Remember, thou shalt not have false idols...

You WHAT my Giant Ox? Timmy, you can't---

No, of COURSE you can't do that!!!

*points at poster*

IT'S LITERALLY ONE OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS