i have a tonynat birthday bff idea thing

im apparently really feeling 2012 team as family today so like. natasha has no birthday (we're ignoring 1984 bc i said so) and tony's like .. hmm. what. he goes looking through shield fiels and finds nada. DOB is blank in natasha's file. there's nothing in her employment records

or paychecks or anything. all her aliases have different birthdays. (this next part is debatable as to: would tony do this but... passwords reveal nothing htere's no repeating series of numbers, to absolutely no one's surprise. i dont think he'd do this.)

natasha refuses to give anything up bc ~mysteriousness~. cameo from pepper and she asks him wtf he's doing and he tells her, they have a conversation where pepper guesses natasha's zodiac sign bc she's an astrology truther.

now a sub-question is ... how into astrology is pepper? does she narrow it down to a 10 day period using decans? does she figure out the whole birth chart or does she just guess sun sign? but anyway, i digress...

alright so tony's like. fuck this shit i wanna know her birthday bc a) she is a friend and i wanna celebrate her and go completely over the top and b) what the fuck. where's the answer i want it i want to know.

god this thread is embarrassing as hell i am so sorry to my oomfs experiencing 2nd hand embarrassment if ur reading this .. i started it so i gotta finish bc im not a pussy but :/ anyway to make it worse.................... tony channels his inner penelope garcia.