in order to contain jimin they must eat his cake

it starts normally enough. someone mentions his butt is bigger. he blushes and smacks them but preens. they move on.

only it keeps growing

it’s only been 4 days and it’s already getting hard for the stylists to hide. jimin is concerned. his bandmates are suffering.

by the week’s end it’s become an actual issue. he’s knocking things over, unused to the size of his rear. namjoon is in a constant moral meltdown.

it’s the size of a beach ball when they visit the doctor and she tells jimin that he has a rare disorder.

“i’m sorry but... you have cake.”

jm: yes that is the problem

“what i mean is, you have cake in your buttocks.”

“i’m afraid the only treatment is to have it extracted. otherwise, it will keep growing exponentially.”

this can’t be happening. he’s a k-pop idol, not a cake-pop idol!

so they schedule his first cake-extracting appointment. only the earliest available was in 2 weeks. great.

it’s a week and a half later and jimin’s rear has become honestly intimidating at twice the size of when he visited the doctor. it’s then when namjoon finally breaks.

“can i Please eat your ass?” he pleads, torment in his eyes

jimin sighs but gives in. it’s a nice feeling anyway and he’s concerned for namjoon’s sanity.

they’re in the middle of things when namjoon jolts backwards. jimin whines and looks up to see confusion on his face.

jm: what? what’s wrong?

nj: i, you tasted, sweet?

jm: i always taste sweet

nj: no i mean like, Really sweet. like, cake?

jm:

jimin demands him to keep going. namjoon does so gladly. sure enough, he tastes more cake, and jimin moans like nj’s never heard before

they finish quickly after that, and jimin immediately stands to look in the mirror. it’s smaller!!! only slightly but. still!!

jimin debriefs the rest of the group. sitting them all down at the dining table, he tells them, “i need all of you to eat me out immediately.”

a multitude of reactions occur but ultimately everyone agrees. to help jimin. definitely just helping jimin.

so they get to work. one by one they eat their fill, and jimin’s butt returns to its normal size (although there is some debate about how big the original was)

he’s finally better. thank god.

he cheerily calls the doctor to cancel his appointment, explaining that he’d found an at-home solution.

“alright, jimin-ssi. but remember, this is only a treatment. you’ll need to keep up with it to prevent it worsening again.”

so that is how jimin winds up with a daily cake-eating session with his six bandmates. they complain about their diets but wouldn’t trade the experience for the world.

the end

inspired by SCP-871