in order to contain jimin they must eat his cake
it starts normally enough. someone mentions his butt is bigger. he blushes and smacks them but preens. they move on.
only it keeps growing
only it keeps growing
itâs only been 4 days and itâs already getting hard for the stylists to hide. jimin is concerned. his bandmates are suffering.
by the weekâs end itâs become an actual issue. heâs knocking things over, unused to the size of his rear. namjoon is in a constant moral meltdown.
by the weekâs end itâs become an actual issue. heâs knocking things over, unused to the size of his rear. namjoon is in a constant moral meltdown.
itâs the size of a beach ball when they visit the doctor and she tells jimin that he has a rare disorder.
âiâm sorry but... you have cake.â
jm: yes that is the problem
âwhat i mean is, you have cake in your buttocks.â
âiâm sorry but... you have cake.â
jm: yes that is the problem
âwhat i mean is, you have cake in your buttocks.â
âiâm afraid the only treatment is to have it extracted. otherwise, it will keep growing exponentially.â
this canât be happening. heâs a k-pop idol, not a cake-pop idol!
so they schedule his first cake-extracting appointment. only the earliest available was in 2 weeks. great.
this canât be happening. heâs a k-pop idol, not a cake-pop idol!
so they schedule his first cake-extracting appointment. only the earliest available was in 2 weeks. great.
itâs a week and a half later and jiminâs rear has become honestly intimidating at twice the size of when he visited the doctor. itâs then when namjoon finally breaks.
âcan i Please eat your ass?â he pleads, torment in his eyes
âcan i Please eat your ass?â he pleads, torment in his eyes
jimin sighs but gives in. itâs a nice feeling anyway and heâs concerned for namjoonâs sanity.
theyâre in the middle of things when namjoon jolts backwards. jimin whines and looks up to see confusion on his face.
theyâre in the middle of things when namjoon jolts backwards. jimin whines and looks up to see confusion on his face.
jm: what? whatâs wrong?
nj: i, you tasted, sweet?
jm: i always taste sweet
nj: no i mean like, Really sweet. like, cake?
jm:
nj: i, you tasted, sweet?
jm: i always taste sweet
nj: no i mean like, Really sweet. like, cake?
jm:

jimin demands him to keep going. namjoon does so gladly. sure enough, he tastes more cake, and jimin moans like njâs never heard before
they finish quickly after that, and jimin immediately stands to look in the mirror. itâs smaller!!! only slightly but. still!!
they finish quickly after that, and jimin immediately stands to look in the mirror. itâs smaller!!! only slightly but. still!!
jimin debriefs the rest of the group. sitting them all down at the dining table, he tells them, âi need all of you to eat me out immediately.â
a multitude of reactions occur but ultimately everyone agrees. to help jimin. definitely just helping jimin.
a multitude of reactions occur but ultimately everyone agrees. to help jimin. definitely just helping jimin.
so they get to work. one by one they eat their fill, and jiminâs butt returns to its normal size (although there is some debate about how big the original was)
heâs finally better. thank god.
heâs finally better. thank god.
he cheerily calls the doctor to cancel his appointment, explaining that heâd found an at-home solution.
âalright, jimin-ssi. but remember, this is only a treatment. youâll need to keep up with it to prevent it worsening again.â
âalright, jimin-ssi. but remember, this is only a treatment. youâll need to keep up with it to prevent it worsening again.â
so that is how jimin winds up with a daily cake-eating session with his six bandmates. they complain about their diets but wouldnât trade the experience for the world.
the end

inspired by SCP-871