kid 1 worked during covid, other kids quit, saying--i'll just get money from my parents.
kid 2 has been abroad 2 times, both times he had to work and fundraise. other kids tried, and when they weren't successful, quit saying i'll just get money from my parents. https://twitter.com/_megconley/status/1384896389004603392

i recognize that many people say that it does kids good to work for their stuff, and at some level, i sort of agree (but not entirely). the problem is, it's never the kids that need to 'learn the value of work' that are working.

it's the working class kids that already KNOW life is tough. that already KNOW the 'life lessons' the come from working hard. including, the anxiety, stress, panic, depression, hopelessness, overwhelm and chronic anger/health problems that comes from always worrying abt money.

i've done every single thing i can to make sure that my kids have never had to make the miserable choice between working or being able to play sports or working and going to college or working and any other great life choice that other kids get.

but i've only been able to do that bcz *Ive* made the choice to give up shit (like, no bras for me, kids need soccer shoes or no writing conference for me, kids need SAT course, that sort of thing). i dont mind it at ALL bcz i was the kid that DID have to give up--

great lifetime opportunities that change the course of my life bcz there was no money. so i am fine with it. but there are many MANY parents that don't have even that small bitter luxury of giving up something for themselves so kids can have something.

there are many many parents that don't have money to even say 'i'm not going to eat so that you can,' which is something we've had to do in our house. for some people, there's not enough money for *anybody* to eat.

and telling those kids that they need to fundraise so they can have access to some life changing THING. it's depraved.

and i actually don't think they do that so they can feel better about kids left behind, i think they do it bcz it costs money to hire people to do fundraising and fill out grants and do the work so the kids don't have to. they're outsourcing that work to the kids.

the second time my kid went abroad was through a german program that has been around for years w/specific intention of building relationships between germany and US. that program is funded by german govt.

they asked kids to fundraise but the program doesn't survive on their money/work and they can still participate if they don't raise the entire amount.

the first trip abroad trip my kid participated in was thru the kid's school and they had to raise the entire cost themselves and bcz it is in no way funded thru govt or school or any other source, kids had to raise a huge amount. if they didn't raise entire amount, they were out.

most kids didnt even bother trying. my partner was out of work at the time and my kid only succeeded bcz of grandparents and generous donations from followers. rich kids just told their parents they wanted to go.

my kid deeply understood in his bones that he was lucky to be going and participated in every single event offered. the rich kids spent their time shopping at the malls and drinking bcz the age limit is 16 in germany.

people will say my kid is 'better off' than those rich kids, but is he really? and if he's better off than those kids, why are those kids still being handed everything?

those kids have learned that everything will be handed to them *because* they've never had to work. they KNOW they are special and different and the kid that everybody wants. they *expect it*. and they expect it bcz they've learned they CAN expect it.

there is no point where they will ever 'find out,' which is what people keep trying to promise me and now my kid.

it's actually been super easy for my kid to find a job at his private university--the rich kids don't work. not unless it's a great internship at top international corporation. the $8/hour job at the dining hall? they don't do. it doesn't even cross their mind to do.

and yet they are the ones handed that great internship at top international corporations. they *expect* to be handed those internships.

the only thing MY kid has going for him isn't that he's a hard working--it's that he has a mother that was shown all the closed doors and why they were closed by radical women of color professors (bless them).

and now i know to look for those doors and smoosh my foot in the door before it closes so that i can somehow by sheer might shove my kid thru the door.

it's not hard work that gets you anywhere, it's knowledge of the doors and how the doors work. period. and poor and working class kids are systemically denied access to even awareness that those doors exist.