Philip K. Dick would’ve appreciated this headline.

"`Happy New Year!', shouted the girl in the 2021 tiara as Hoffmann pushed through the crowd. He had no time for it. His head was pounding from the 7-hour-stimulus shot he'd had that afternoon and his boss was blasting him with an incessant stream of invective on his mePhone. "

"After the Public Health Abolition Act of 2017, MegasearchCorp® and rival BigRiver® had stepped in to ensure a surviving consumer base. Even his employer, Zuckervasser Inc., was freaking out. `Damnit' he thought as hailed a self-driving taxi,`this is going to be the real deal.'"