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i’ve been doing some deep reflecting on the concept of inner child healing and what that even really means. I know we all hear about tending to our inner child and it may be simplified to “taking up a lost hobby” or “spending time doing things we used to love doing”.
these are great suggestions but I still wondered what it really means to heal one’s inner child.
i realize now that the work is never really done. We hear the saying that healing isn’t linear all the time but is it even possible to achieve an obsolete and concrete healed version
i realize now that the work is never really done. We hear the saying that healing isn’t linear all the time but is it even possible to achieve an obsolete and concrete healed version
of ourselves? I’m not sure, I’ll let you know how I feel about that if I’m lucky to live 40 more years. What I do know is, every one of us lacked some version of love or attention in our childhood. Whether we realize it or not, whether it was deeply traumatic or not.
we lacked something. You may have had tons of siblings with nothing but loving parents and still managed to feel left out somehow or felt the need to prove your existence to your parents. This is not deeply traumatic but it sticks with us.
I can guarantee you a person that may have lived this reality, grows up and tries their hardest to prove themselves to the people in their lives. This may even mean, keeping toxic people in their lives longer than necessary due to their deep-rooted desire to prove themselves
of being worthy of love. A child who may have felt invisible compared to their other siblings may actively seek out adult relationships where they are the “healer” or someone that their partner can RELY on bc they believe the only way, they will feel love is through being NEEDED.
They may believe that their personality alone is not enough to keep someone around. This poses a problem for them when their partner just wants to use or abuse their availability & giving nature. They may also refrain from asking for things for themselves in fear of being left.
Abandonment issues can lead to anxious attachment styles etc. I won’t get into the details bc even though they are interesting, this isn’t what this thread is about.
i was frequently disregarded during my childhood. My emotions were frequently silenced as if they held no weight, and i was frequently told i was wrong even when i had the evidence to back up my claims.
i’ve noticed my behavior today reflected this because i have been tolerating people in my life that replicated the same treatment i received during childhood. i am aware that i hate feeling how the people during my childhood made me feel but i tend to tolerate it.
this is because i am “used to it” and that can be a dangerous mindset to be in. we have all been there. that is why i am writing this. becoming aware of what outdated patterns we are unknowingly repeating in our adult lives can help us better maneuver our relationships.
