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CW: pet grief
I’ve taken the next week off to spend time with my senior cat, Scout, before he crosses the rainbow bridge. It’s... time. Vet comes Friday.
Until then, I’m spoiling him senseless and just *being* with him. It is a gift. I’ll be tracking my moments with him here.
I’ve taken the next week off to spend time with my senior cat, Scout, before he crosses the rainbow bridge. It’s... time. Vet comes Friday.
Until then, I’m spoiling him senseless and just *being* with him. It is a gift. I’ll be tracking my moments with him here.
I’ve been struggling with this. I’m lucky that I’ve never lost anyone or anything that’s been there 19 years of my life. Parsing it is hard. Journaling and sharing my experiences helped before, though, so that’s what this is. It’s for me; mute if it’s not for you. 
I get it.
I get it.
Today’s activities start with the indoor snuggle area.
When he was a kitten, I was a lonely, introverted teen who literally spent most of my time in my closet (where my computer was) or basement (where our consoles were). He’d come snuggle whenever I did my quiet nerd things.
When he was a kitten, I was a lonely, introverted teen who literally spent most of my time in my closet (where my computer was) or basement (where our consoles were). He’d come snuggle whenever I did my quiet nerd things.
Later, I’ll be getting him a harness to spend a little time outside. While he’s slow and relatively immobile, our backyard has holes in the fence and I want him to have some agency with safety.
He used to love lying in the grass; maybe not anymore, but he should have the chance.
He used to love lying in the grass; maybe not anymore, but he should have the chance.
Food’s been tough. He pukes most mornings, so I’ve been waiting for his almost-daily bile ejection to give him the good stuff. There’s a Koha Poke Bowl brand that’s rich and he really enjoys, but triggers his nausea if he has too much.
Mixing it with his kibble seems to work.
Mixing it with his kibble seems to work.
(He’s still hungry, and *wants* to eat, but sometimes his body can’t handle it. Poor guy. His QoL drops are one of the main reasons we made the call. Bucket list items allowed for planning and a mental health week. I’m grateful he’s given me signs as well as time to plan.)
For those who might not know, Scout’s got a few issues. Beyond just being old AF, he’s got arthritis, hypertension, iris atrophy (permanent dilation), and, most severely, stage 3+ kidney failure. We’ve known this was coming for years, it’s just... finally here.
Going to keep coming back to this as I need it. For now, got some errands to run, and he has some through napping to get in. Sleepy sleep, bud. Be back to you soon. 
Ready for adventure!
(He may have fallen over at first. New harness, who dis)
(He may have fallen over at first. New harness, who dis)
THERE ARE SO MANY SMELLS
YOUR TREATS ARE NOT RECOGNIZED HUMAN
YOUR TREATS ARE NOT RECOGNIZED HUMAN
We took a short walk around the yard, and he preferred having the wall or fence at his side. Lots of local outdoor animals frequent our yard, including intruder cats, so I suspect his desire for exploration was fighting his fight or flight instinct.
We went inside after about half an hour. Would still spend the $20 again, and if the weather’s good, we’ll do another short exploration tomorrow.
He was happy to be around his scent again for sure, though.
He was happy to be around his scent again for sure, though.
My lunch // His lunch
(He gets shreds of my chicken, with the seasoning removed.)
(He gets shreds of my chicken, with the seasoning removed.)
Taking a break for food, a shower, and to somberly review the steps I’ll need to take with Scout’s pet insurance.
The good news is most of his end of life services are covered. Only thing I can’t suss out is how his deductible interacts, but even partial coverage is welcome.
The good news is most of his end of life services are covered. Only thing I can’t suss out is how his deductible interacts, but even partial coverage is welcome.
Meanwhile, chicken coma.
I had a nice long cry, I’m rehydrating, and I’m killing zombies because apparently the apocalypse is my comfort zone.
He has rotated since starting his afternoon coma.
