The single most valuable question to ask any older homeless person:

Do you have any kids? 1/

The answer is often yes and the conversation that follows will destroy your preconceived notions and biases. 2/

People with all their worldly possessions in a backpack by the side of the bed will tell you a story. 3/

A story of a committed romantic relationship. A steady job. A house and a car and a mortgage. Little league games and birthday parties. 4/

Your vision of this person graduating high school and taking classes in Where to Sleep When it’s Cold and Making a Cardboard Sign will be dashed. 5/

Instead if you listen you’ll hear a tale of bad luck, medical illness, a flimsy safety net, and maybe a few bad choices. 6/

Homeless people are not born. They are made. Out of your neighbors. 7/

I’ve met a lot of people who have no place to live who still stay in touch with their kids. Regularly.

Just like you and me, connections with grown kids can be some of the most valuable relationships in their lives. 8/

It’s not all unicorns and rainbows. You’ll hear some hard stories too. Kids taken away and kids that died.

You can listen with compassion to a hard story. You are a doctor. 9/

I used to ask about work. I like the kid question better. People who never raised any will say “no” and you move on. No judgment. 10/

I don’t make assumptions based on gender or orientation. There are a lot of ways to end up raising a kid. 11/

Some may say this question is too invasive.

I’ll argue that it’s my job to know people and not to treat them as undifferentiated tablet metabolizers.

You, of course, feel free to do you. 12/

I feel this question benefits every next homeless patient I care for as I am reminded some among us with no fixed address are also mothers and fathers. 13/

If your intuition tells you this is the wrong question, trust your gut. I don’t ask everybody.

Pick another question that shows you know this is a person with a history and life. A past and place in the world. 14/