I had a difficult class conversation in which some of my students noted the harms of Black respectability.

Older folks saying 'If you are going to be in white spaces, you have to excel.' They argued that normalizes white trauma against Black folks.

The 'you've gotta be 10 times better than white folks' narrative is a super common and problematic one.

It encourages Black folks to respond with excellence in the face of trauma.

Students also critiqued a false binary that they are presented with: either be in Black spaces or if you are in white spaces, excellence is your only form of pushback.

However, that false binary overlooks pushing back against anti-Blackness in white spaces. It suggests that if you are unwilling to work twice as hard to 'succeed', your only alternative are Black spaces (or vice versa.)

I am very guilty of telling students that they do not have to be in white spaces that are anti-Black or microaggressive to them as a sole narrative. Which is a mistake.

I need to also normalize Black resistance in white spaces as a form of self-care.

I have always advocated for Black spaces, not just as sites of empowerment and refuge, but also as spaces where we can be excellent without the violence of microaggressive policing.

(Black folks do also police Black folks in Black spaces too.)

But I think too often, those of us who operate in exclusively Black spaces sort of look down our nose at the trauma experienced by Black folks in white spaces.

We think, often, they could just leave the white space.

The problem with that is that it overlooks how special and unique in the US, for example, Black only and Black centered spaces are.

For most of us, white supremacy has prevented parallel Black spaces of refuge. So we must fight for space in white spaces.

I think we have to be careful about essentializing 'success' in white space or access to white spaces as being special.

All Black spaces are special. All Black spaces are diverse. All Black spaces should be protected, particularly in a white supremacist world -- but even without

But we also need to be comrades in solidarity with those who are fighting white supremacy inside of white spaces. (That doesn't mean that that fight is more special than ours.) But the fight is similar I think.

So for me the important lesson is that if we are going to suggest Black excellence as a method for success in Black spaces, there has to be a concurrent acknowledgement of Black pain and trauma, and the importance of Black resistance.