Read on Twitter
The best advice I can offer incoming graduate students is to invest heavily in friendships with your peers. Put the time and the care in. Become a community. Share meals. Know their childrens' and pets' names. This is not for "social" or "fun" reasons.
It's important that you do this even with peers who would /not/ be your friends in a purely social context. When you do this, you will see how nervous it makes those higher up the food chain. It should. It's powerfully subversive in a system that depends on toxic competition.
Tell them when you are confused, nervous, don't know the definition of a word or a reference to a theorist. This removes your own vulnerability but furthermore it protects all of you from a system that exploits lonely, hidden--yet universal--impostor syndrome and anxiety.
If your cohort or department doesn't have those collaborative vibes, be the one who STARTS them. It's easier than you think. Ask a question. Invite to trivia night. Say "whew, class made me feel real dumb today." You're not the only one.
I didn’t want to be grim but in case it’s not clear, this is NOT for warm fuzzy reasons. (Tho you might make incidental warm fuzzy friendships in the process.) It is strategic. It’s about power and workers’ unity. You should approach it with full investment, but protect yourself.
And this kind of vulnerability (and community building, using the strategies I mentioned RATHER than things that threaten your relationships/work/reputation)is actually an incredible method of protecting yourself from the most toxic people in grad school.
I would even say LEVEL UP this energy on the people who most push back - who “don’t have time” for trivia because they’re “working,” who are “surprised” you weren’t familiar with a French theorist if you “hope to be employable.” Kill ‘em with kindness. Just don’t trust them.
Anyway much love, comrades, but I will be muting this thread now bc the 2nd best advice I can give is that academic Twitter is an excellent tool but the moment that you get enough RTs on something that people start arguing with it/forget you’re a person is the moment to detach
