I cannot go a minute without thinking about namjoon starting an acceptance speech by talking about jin being hot

is there a fic where he just. consistently does this to the point everyone in bts sits him down and are just like "so uh. what's going on here"

jin has been into namjoon for forever and is just patiently waiting for namjoon to realize that this isn't like, a bro thing. it takes awhile.

okay but who has to explain to namjoon that he's Definitely Into Jin and why is it yoongi

a conversation I would pay to see

OKAY THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN NAMJOON AND YOONGI IS SO AWFUL, neither of them want to be there, yoongi is just patiently outlining all the evidence and namjoon, normally very introspective!! in touch with his feelings!! is just Not Getting It

yoongi: so have you uh. ever uh. considered that you may have maybe... non platonic feelings for someone in our group. just maybe considered that.. in light of some things you've been uh. saying recently.

namjoon: are you saying you're in love with me

yoongi is like that is the opposite of what I'm saying and namjoon's like "okay I get it... it's hard to put yourself out there. I get why you're walking it back now, it's okay. just be honest with your feelings hyung" and yoongi is like POT!!! KETTLE!!!!!!!!!

yoongi gives up and goes and sees jin, and the convo goes something like this:

yoongi: so namjoon is in love with you. and you're in love with him.
jin: yes, that's accurate
yoongi: right.
yoongi: cool. can you like. tell him
jin: haha god no

does this just become namgijin

okay so namjoon is:

1. fully convinced yoongi is in love with him
2. deeply in love with jin and refusing to acknowledge it

and then they win another award and jin has his forehead out so what is namjoon MEANT to do? NOT comment on it?

there's another key player, someone who has just been watching all this on the sidelines, waiting to see how it all shakes out, and that person is: park jimin

jimin sees all of this nonsense happening and sees the clear solution: yoonjin should date bc they're perfect for each other (and jimin is 99% sure yoongi is into jin), and then them dating will make namjoon realize he's into jin and namgi are OBVIOUSLY into each other so!! perf!

he keeps trying to engineer times for yoonjin to be alone and yoonjin are like "yeah this is pretty great" because they love spending time together, jimin sends them on loads of dates and they just have a great time. no they do not realize what's happening! but they have fun

AND NAMJOON YOU ASK???? just so glad his two friends are spending more time together!! it's probably good for yoongi to be distracted from being in love with namjoon

yes namgi do at one point have a conversation that goes like this:

yoongi: just wanting to be super clear that I'm not in love with you, I think after our last conversation you got kind of muddled on that point
namjoon: say no more. I completely understand.

(he doesn't)

and then it's another red carpet interview, and they're asked to say something nice about the person to their left, and jin's on namjoon's left! and namjoon's like:

"I like how good of a friend you are, also your shoulders are no joke haha"

and jin just has this moment hanging w/ yoongi where he's like. okay. maybe namjoon does... just say all this stuff.. and mean it platonically??? maybe I should stop pining after him and realize it's Not Gonna Happen

and yoongi's like OR JUST TELL HIM and jin's still like "nah"

jimin meanwhile. oh my god. poor jimin. jimin is like to namjoon hey isn't it great how CLOSE yoonjin are isn't that just SO NICE, don't you just LOVE THAT THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER and namjoon's just like "yeah! good for them!" and jimin hates his life

okay I promise I'll stop soon but of COURSE yoongi falls in love with jin after their like 85th jimin organized date and jin is kind of feeling the same which is confusing bc he's been pining for namjoon for fucking ever and his head's a mess

and namjoon is starting to see it bc he's a perceptive guy!! he can see that yoongi's starting to stare a little bit longer at jin, he catches jin flushing at funny shit yoongi says, and namjoon just feels totally normal and cool about all of it

and then jimin's there and namjoon's like hey uh. that time you were talking about yoonjin being closer you like... I mean, you didn't mean that romantically, right? and jimin's like "no that's exactly how I meant it" and namjoon's like "AWESOME love it" because he loves love!!

but namjoon's the leader- he needs to know about any relationships between the members!! what I'm saying is he sits yoonjin down for the most awkward conversation of all time.

it starts terribly: namjoon doesn't want to actually say that he thinks yoonjin are together because he wants them to tell him themselves, and he doesn't *actually* know they are, so his text inviting them to this meeting is to "just hang out, haha"

namjoon really wants to get across his AGGRESSIVE SUPPORT, he's happy they're happy, the uneasy feeling in his stomach is clearly just nerves about it changing the dynamic of the group. and okay fine he might be /slightly/ hurt that yoongi got over him so quickly, but it's fine!

cannot stress enough how a good 45 minutes pass with them sitting in mostly dead silence, yoonjin have no fucking clue what's happening and namjoon keeps saying all this very vague stuff about love and then raises his eyebrows expectantly at them

namjoon: love is just.. uh. haha. it's funny, I've written so many songs about it but I don't think it's particularly easy to... talk about.. (emphatic stare)
yoongi: are you like. good
jin: seriously what is this

EVENTUALLY HE GETS IT OUT, YOONJIN ARE IN LOVE AND HE'S HAPPY FOR THEM!! he just needs to know about these things, as the leader, you know? but he's so happy for them, like. SO happy.

yoonjin both deny it but bc they're actually both into each other the denials come off REALLY HOLLOW AND FAKE, in a way that p much confirms it for namjoon, so namjoon is like "yeah I think you two need to talk this through" and goes off to grab a drink with jimin and leaves them

and yoongi's like okay. I won't lie, after our 85 billion dates I kind of uh. started having feelings for you. but I know you're into namjoon and it's totally fine that you don't feel the same, I'll get over it

but psych!! jin's totally into him too!!! and tells him!!

and yes it is DEEPLY AWKWARD because they want to kiss but can't because jin is still helplessly in love with namjoon and he's finally realizing he should deal with that, too. if he can confess to one person he's into he can do it with the second person he's into!!!! he CAN!!

and yoongi is like "okay yes please do this, and then we can date, and you can date namjoon AND date me, and namjoon and I... will not be dating because we don't see each other that way haha"

MESS

alcohol /// and as it happens namjoon is out drinking with jimin and is going on about how Happy He Is For His friends and how they're probably Having Sex Right Now and how Love Is Great, and jimin's just like. uh huh. okay. we have a lot of work to do.

finally jimin just settles on a fantastic tactic: he searches for "jin hot photos" (read: every jin photo) and then is just like "oh! look at what just happened to come up on my phone!" and namjoon cannot stop himself

namjoon starts off with the classic "he's so fucking hot" appreciation and then segues into how jin is the greatest person ever, and so funny, and makes namjoon happy and feel safe and loved, and how he can't imagine his life without him

and then he's kind of like "haha it's funny how!! yoonjin are def getting together now thanks to uh... me.... but it's great, they're great together!" and then just has this Moment while staring at a photo of jin where he's like Oh No

alcohol // jimin downs his drink, pats namjoon on the back and is like "it's okay, take a deep breath" as namjoon is trying to understand how the fuck he could've somehow MISSED being in love with jin??? it's simultaneously the best and worst moment of his life

jimin is lowkey pleased because his plan is WORKING, it's all COMING TOGETHER and then namjoon is like "I will repress this for the rest of my life. I will not get in the way of their happiness" and jimin is like DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE and pushes him towards jin's room

I am so sorry I don't know how threadfics work at all (DOES THIS EVEN COUNT AS ONE) but here's the start of the thread if you need it? this is what people do right https://twitter.com/illegirling/status/1384872015748902916?s=20

ANYWAYS YOONGI IS ALSO IN JIN'S ROOM OF COURSE, bc it's immediately post them being like "okay jin is going to confess to namjoon" so it's all very fortuitous timing, and namjin just kind of stare at each other for a moment and it's deeply awkward because of course it is

and namjoon doesn't know what to say, because yoonjin are probably together!! but he knows he could date jin and jin could also date yoongi at the same time, it could all work out (but he's obviously not going to date yoongi because they don't see each other that way, haha)

because yes sure, namjoon knows that yoongi USED to be into him but he's into jin now, and probably has gotten over him, AND EVEN IF HE /WAS/ STILL INTO HIM IT DOESN'T MATTER BC NAMJOON ISN'T INTO YOONGI!!!!

so finally he puts his cards on the table and tells jin that 1. he's really fucking into him 2. he realizes jin is into yoongi 3. he's TOTALLY HAPPY FOR HIM AND YOONGI but 4. if jin did happen to be also into him they could like.... date.... and that'd be cool. it's v eloquent

alcohol // and then namjoon realizes he's a little bit drunker than he wants to be and is like oh god was a terrible idea so he's like "anyways uh. sleep on it!" and runs out of the room

and yoongi and jin look at each other at the same time and both go "sleep on it???"

and jin is just overwhelmed, bc wow, he wants to kiss namjoon very badly and wants to kiss yoongi very badly and he can't do either because he needs to """"sleep on it""" and he hates his life.

but he wakes up the next day at like, 6:30 in the morning, and just immediately wakes up namjoon and is like "okay you said a lot last night and then didn't let me speak!! so!! here's the truth!! I'm very into you!! and have been forever!!

and just has a whole monologue about namjoon being fantastic and wonderful and very hot that he's delivering at a very loud volume (loud enough that jimin, who is naturally listening to the entire convo through the door, doesn't really need to strain much to hear)

and then he's like "I really, really want to kiss you but I want to kiss yoongi too, and I need both of you to be cool with me dating you both" and namjoon's like YES TO EVERYTHING YOU'VE JUST SAID, OH MY GOD. best day of his life.

so the three of them sit down and yoongi's like okay so. jin is going to date both of us, namjoon and I are not dating each other because We Don't See Each Other That Way, but we can all make this work very respectfully.

they all fist bump to seal the deal

eventually, jin actually gets to kiss both of them!! and if namgi both feel something when they see the other two kiss, well, that's just... they're both objectively hot haha of course they'd both be into seeing two hot guys make out! doesn't mean anything

I'M GOING TO STOP THERE TO WORK ON MY FIC BUT I WILL CONTINUE THIS NIGHTMARE THREAD LATER!!!!!!!

OKAY SO yoonjin and namjin both start dating and are very happy, and of course they decide to call a group meeting to tell everyone which goes HILARIOUSLY bc tae/hobi/jk/jimin are all very confused as to why the fuck they’re not a throuple, it goes like this:

hobi: so you two (points at namjin) are dating. And you two (points at yoonjin) are dating, but you two (points at namgi) aren’t.
Namgijin: yes
hobi: right. of course. why /would/ you two date. what was I thinking.

hobi's very tired bc he's like that in every namgi thing I write

jimin is shaking his head so hard and is like “I’ll explain it to you all later” to tae/jk/hobi and namjoon is like "no you don’t need to do that there’s nothing else to explain haha what are you talking about" and jimin again just mouths ‘text me’ when namgijin aren’t looking

tae/jk/hobi/jimin meet up on their own and decide that they /have/ to interfere, namgi are too stupid to realize they’re in love on their own, but they all agree they should talk to jin first to get his go ahead before starting with their scheming

So they talk to jin who’s just, the happiest ever, he’s got two boyfriends, he’s loving his life, and taekookjihope are like “how do you feel about completing the triangle” and jin is like “well I’m obviously very down”

because he’s happy, he’s so fucking happy but he kind of was hoping namgi would realize they’re into each other too bc 1. Hot 2. They clearly have tension 3. Hot

so the team's first idea is to just get namgi in a room alone together. it worked for yoonjin- if namgi have a few hours uninterrupted where they have no choice but to talk about stuff, it'll happen, right?

well. they seriously underestimated the power of namgi’s repression.

so jungkook "accidentally" messes up the keycode for yoongi's studio after getting namgi to go in there and locks them in from the outside, and namgi are like ughhhhhhhh

and the rest of bangtan are just waiting patiently outside the door for them to come out and announce that they've realized they're in love, because they're hopeful fools

basically what happens is namgi write 10 different subunit songs together, have about 8 intense conversations about the nature of being human, and do not make eye contact even one (1) time

but it’s nice, they really do enjoy spending time together and at one point namjoon thinks about bringing up how glad he is that yoongi no longer has feelings for him, bc that’d make things awkward, haha, but he decides against saying it bc. uh. maybe he shouldn’t say that.

but it’s just nice, because it could be weird, the two of them dating the same guy, and it’s probably good to make sure their friendship is still on track. so they make more plans to hang out just the two of them. jikookvhopejin are so happy about this development, small wins!

and meanwhile jin is also kind of planting the seeds when he goes on dates with each of them, just occasionally bringing up the other one, testing the waters… it goes okay! especially when he starts to notice they get flustered when the other one is brought up :DDDD

but they just need something else....

and no points for subtlety, but one day they’re all hanging in the living room and tae just casually dares namgi to write songs about each other.

he says this in a deadly serious tone while staring at both of them intently. it's alarming.

namjoon: what
yoongi: why would we do that that’s weird
namjoon: yeah and no offense but I'd prefer to write one about my boyfriend... if I'm writing a song about someone...
yoongi: none taken and same
hoseok: oh so you can’t come up with anything good
namgi: NO THAT’S NOT IT

jin: please don't write a song about me

basically namgi acquiesce and both go to their rooms with the express purpose of writing a song about each other, and it’s so fucking weird but ofc they both get SO INTO IT, and with a few uninterrupted hours to do nothing but think about each other…

well. things Come Up.

thing is, it’s not like namgi don’t already have a huge amount of songs dedicated to/written with each other!!!!there are SO MANY. And yet this is still Something Else

MEANWHILE, jungkook has some salient advice for jin:

jungkook: okay here's what you do. hold both their hands. and then slowly - very slowly - bring their hands together until THEY'RE holding hands.

jin: what

jungkook: just trust me (winks at jin)

jin: no seriously please explain why this is going to work because I have a mental picture of this right now and let me tell you it does not seem like the type of thing that would -

anddddd jungkook's left the room

meanwhile namgi are doing their thing writing gay little songs for each other and, god, it takes A LONG TIME but they both fucking FINALLY stumble upon the VERY OBVIOUS TEN YEARS IN THE MAKING TRUTH: they're hopelessly in love with each other

and both promptly freak out

so they come out to see the others (well apart from jungkook who's fucked off) and are like:

namjoon: couldn't come up with anything
yoongi: me neither
namjoon: I'm going to bed
yoongi: me too

and then both leave and go to their rooms all somberly

and the rest of bangtan are like "okay well that was obviously a lie, back to the drawing board" and jin is like "okay nope!! done with all of you interfering, they are MY boyfriends I will be the one to deal with this" and goes to drag namgi into his bedroom

NOW here's what's going on in namgi's brains:

they're both mega convinced that the other isnt in love with them, and that they're going to make things VERY awkward for the three of them if they confess, so the better solution is to obviously pretend it's Not Happening, naturally

plus it's probably nothing. the creative process is very heated and intense, they probably just both got their wires crossed while writing a song about the other... and thought they had feelings when they didn't... or something. it's very convoluted.

so namgi are just like "what's up" as jin drags them in his bedroom, and jin is like fuck it maybe??? jungkook had a point??? and they do just need to hold hands?? so he awkwardly grabs both of their hands and then slowly brings them together and namgi IMMEDIATELY freak out

namgi: what are you doing
jin: it was - jungkook said to - okay listen YOU BOTH CLEARLY ARE INTO EACH OTHER AND WE COULD ALL JUST... DATE EACH OTHER AND NOT BE WEIRD AND REPRESSED IF YOU TWO COULD JUST GET IT TOGETHER????? PLEASE??

like he just fully loses it, arms flailing

and namjoon is finally. so tired. and can't deny it any more so he's just like... yeah. I'm into him but he doesn't feel the same, I mean he USED to but he doesn't anymore, which is fine!!! and yoongi's like wait what

and namjoon's like "yeah, you were into me" and yoongi's like "OKAY YOU KEPT SAYING THAT AND IT WAS NOT TRUE, I WAS *ALWAYS* TALKING ABOUT YOU AND JIN HYUNG, NOT ME AND YOU" and namjoon's like ah. got it. so you were never into me. okay! that's fine! and goes to leave

and then yoongi grabs his arm and is like "okay it wasn't true THEN, idiot, doesn't mean it's not true now" and namjoon is like "it's true now?" with a huge stupid grin on his face and yoongi is like "I swear you weren't always this dumb" but he's also smiling

and then they just stare at each other for a bit and jin is like IS THAT SERIOUSLY IT and namjoon FINALLY JUST ACTUALLY KISSES YOONGI and. dear god. they finally got there. jin could cry out of relief.

I could go On and On and On but basically namgi's chaste kissing turns into some less chaste making out and then namjin make out and yoonjin make out and they all are just like. so if we had just... communicated a bit more... haha yeah...

namgi share the songs they wrote for each other and they're uh. well they're really special. jin sees the lyrics and is like "rewrite these now that you've actually acknowledged you're in love and make them less INSANELY REPRESSED" and namgi are like "ok deserved"

they write a song for jin for his birthday and it's considered to be the MOST ROMANTIC BANGTAN TRACK EVER WRITTEN which is a high fucking bar, jin is so happy every time he sings it :') and vminkook also tear up regularly bc it's THAT romantic

OH JUNGKOOK/JIMIN/TAEHYUNG ALL TAKE CREDIT FOR NAMGIJIN, jimin because he had the brilliant ot3 idea in the first place, jungkook bc of the handholding thing, tae because of the song thing

hobi is like "I had no role in this and I'M HAPPY THAT WAY"

ANYWAYS all that really changes is namjoon now spends time talking about how hot BOTH of his boyfriends are in award show acceptance speeches :') THE END

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING!!!!!!!! I've never written anything like this on twitter before and that was a lot of fun :DDD I'll stop spamming your tls now