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So, I'm on my way to work, and I'm thinking about the story I've been trying to write. Obviously. And a question I'm asking myself:
What am I *actually* trying to say with this story? https://twitter.com/SheasonFisher/status/1374878994001055750
What am I *actually* trying to say with this story? https://twitter.com/SheasonFisher/status/1374878994001055750
On the surface, the setup for the overarching "plot" is very simple, straightforward, and easy to understand.
"Tuera is trapped in a place she doesn't want to be, and endeavors to not be in the place she doesn't want to be."
Easy.
"Tuera is trapped in a place she doesn't want to be, and endeavors to not be in the place she doesn't want to be."
Easy.
But there's another aspect to this story that I've kind of hinted at, but haven't really gotten to yet. Mostly because I feel like people need to be gently eased into this sort of thing.
And forgive me if this thread gets sporadic; the Day Job is about to start.
And forgive me if this thread gets sporadic; the Day Job is about to start.
See, "chronologically," this story takes place very shortly after she kills her father, Venthrax, who up to that point had been subtly influencing her mind and actions without her knowledge or consent using Alien Space Magic.
And she hasn't really come to terms with that yet.
And she hasn't really come to terms with that yet.
Admittedly: this is a bit of a retcon. Because when I first came up with the character, back in 2008, she was just a straightforward, card-carrying supervillain. Like a cross between Blofeld, Thanos, and the Phoenix Force, with nothing justifying or explaining why she was "evil."
I created her initially, simply because I needed an antagonist for some rp in World if Warcraft. I'm not kidding, that's real.
Either way, my opinion of her softened over the years to the point where I just went "I don't want her to be a supervillain anymore."
Either way, my opinion of her softened over the years to the point where I just went "I don't want her to be a supervillain anymore."
Don't get me wrong: she's not "heroic" now, or anything. She's still a selfish, self-serving narcissist who describes herself as having "a casual tolerance for murder to rival the hardest of the most hardcore dungeon crawlers."
She's just not a dick for no reason anymore.
She's just not a dick for no reason anymore.
I think this is what I'm getting at: she has not yet figured out who she actually is now. Not completely. She's not had a reckoning with her past actions. She still hasn't quite figured out what was her, and what was Venthrax. And I want this story to eventually explore that.
I actually had her casually brush off her history in a previous story, jokingly going "Oh, don't worry, I am over that phase! Being a supervillain just isn't fun anymore!"
But... It's not that easy to dismiss. Or, at the very least, it shouldn't be.
But... It's not that easy to dismiss. Or, at the very least, it shouldn't be.
She did a lot of horrible things in the past. Like... seriously fucked up. I'm not calling her a supervillain lightly, here. And even if we explore those questions, and it turns out that she wasn't actually 100% responsible for those heinous acts...
She still did them.
She still did them.
Is she ever going to face the consequences of her actions? Sure, she's technically died more times than I can count. But does that count as "consequences," since she always came back? Probably not.
She may have turned over a new leaf (maybe) but is she even worthy of redemption?
She may have turned over a new leaf (maybe) but is she even worthy of redemption?
Now, here comes the twist that makes all this slightly more complicated than I suspect it probably needs to be:
I have a hunch that this whole thing with Tuera and Venthrax is my subconscious trying to work through my failed relationship with my own parents, and what I do now.
I have a hunch that this whole thing with Tuera and Venthrax is my subconscious trying to work through my failed relationship with my own parents, and what I do now.
The timing is quite suspect, let's not mince words. Tuera breaking free of her father's influence and control, in order to "regain" a measure of autonomy over her own life that she never had in the first place, questioning if her motivations up to that point were even her own?
And, yeah, *technically* I wrote the story where she killed Venthrax when I was still talking with them, before I cut them out of my life completely.
But I can't deny that the parallels exist. It's just greatly exaggerated to match how fucking
EXTRA Tuera is all the time.
But I can't deny that the parallels exist. It's just greatly exaggerated to match how fucking
EXTRA Tuera is all the time.
I dunno. It just kind of feels like examining Tuera's past actions and motivations going forward, I am, by extension, examining my own.
Perhaps this may be why I'm more willing to be lenient with her than I probably should be.
But I don't know for certain.
Not yet, at least.
Perhaps this may be why I'm more willing to be lenient with her than I probably should be.
But I don't know for certain.
Not yet, at least.
It probably doesn't help that I haven't actually gotten to the part of the story where she starts asking these questions of herself yet. So far, it's only been vaguely hinted at
Perhaps things will become more clear once I actually get there.
Perhaps things will become more clear once I actually get there.
