Thread by @BayoAdedosu, Midweek Gist: Culture Shock for Immigrants.Travelling abroad and living abroad is a [...]

Midweek Gist: Culture Shock for Immigrants.
Travelling abroad and living abroad is a wonderful experience for anyone who desires it. One annoying thing for me after almost 20yrs is how sluggish their cashiers are...they are like arindin. You can't blame me for seeing it that way

2. cos we are used to gra-gra. If a Naija man is the only one at the bus stop he will still rush to enter as if the bus driver might change his mind and not pick him. The easiest way to know a Naija that just arrived is how he shouts into the phone when on a call whereas,

3. oyinbo will be talking you will be looking for his mouth to open or move....me sef don adjust now but when I am at home calling naija, oh my God, the Beere, Ibadan act envelopes me. That's why I believe most Nigerians in Nigeria have hearing problem as a result of noise...

4. pollution which no one takes serious. Because we talk loud, people think we are aggressive...they will say "why are you raising your voice"?

I remember when my family visited Nigeria without me, my older son asked me on the phone why naija drivers like to honk I was told he

5. was scared the first time he heard a car honking aggressively. He does not even know that we use horn to greet each other. That's naija for you. That's what makes us different and great. Naija for life jo!

6. Let me do some amebo about myself. Before I left naija, my older brother and a friend told me to enjoy naija as much as I could cos there's nothing like getting home late after work cos there's no traffic to use as an excuse. If you are to get home by 6pm, you will get home..

7. then or call ahead that you missed your train or bus as the case maybe. So what did I do? If any of you go behind me to tell my wife about this, walahi rain go fall on him. I was going to leave Nigeria in December, I resigned from my job end of October. People asked me why...

8. I quit my job so early, my answer was that I needed some vacation. As you know, naija don't know how to go on vacation and not show up at work in between. I had 2 good months to myself to flenjo. Did I enjoy those 2months, damn! It was a good decision. I made sure that I had..

9. bought all the dollars I needed and handed it over to my wife so that there won't be any accident. I would sleep all day and got up in the afternoon to start preparing to start my own day.....by 6pm I would leave my house to hook up with my friends on the Island, those were..

10. the days when Elays, 100hrs, Thistle Bar etc were still booming. My people, life's good o. During this period, I went to Whispering Palms with a visiting friend (my friend that gave iya Bayo money last Xmas). Life cannot be more than that! I did this till the last day I left

11. Landing in Canada, I saw oyinbo husbands and wives doing grocery shopping but the husbands were the ones pushing the cart....I was like arinfin, iranu oshi. To my surprise, I was the one been seen as the crazy guy cos my wife was the one pushing the cart. One day, an elderly

12. oyinbo came to me and said "why don't you take the cart from your wife"! I was like, "would you just mind your business"? Hey, I eventually pushed the cart. Yesterday @DrOlusesan tweeted about Culture Shock for Immigrants, honestly, he only scratched the surface.

13. I told him that I would do a thread to highlight this all important part of moving abroad. One of the 1st rude shock I had was when a colleague said to me "I like your pants", mehn, you don't want to know how I hit the roof. I was very harsh on her. I said to her "how dare

14. you say you like my pants when it's not showing"? To me, I thought she meant my underpant. As British English speaker, I never called Flannel or Trousers "Pants". I felt stupid after she explained what she meant. Prior to this instance, I went for a job training in Toronto,

15. during our break, we all went to the front desk to take snacks (we were majorly Nigerians). I asked one man to pass me the "Sweets" basket, he looked at me and said, oh my, I can't remember the last time I heard that, it's called "Candy". The man take me shine.

16. As if he was after me, he stretched the tray of "Biscuits" to me asked me what it's called, foolish me too answered and said "Biscuits". This agbaya was having a good time at my expense. I asked him how long he's been in Canada, he said over 20yrs ago and this was 2007.

17. He's never been home, I poked him back by saying definitely he would know Candy and Cookies since he's lost in Canada....the man provoke.

This is one thing I need to tell any intending immigrant to prepare for. My wife's cousin's colleagues said they wanted to take her out

18. for her birthday, she was excited. She went with them, after lunch, they asked for the bills. The waiter asked how to prepare the bills, her colleagues said separately. She didn't understand what that meant until the waiter dropped her bill on a plate and gave to her.

19. She would have been messed up if she didn't have her wallet with her. Oyinbo won't pay for your meals and doesn't expect you to pay for.

Do you know what "DIY" is? It's "Do It Yourself". I would come back from work and expected madam to jump into the kitchen and make...

20. food for me no matter what she was doing. That's the way of the average naija man. On a particular occasion, she said if I wanted her to go make the food I should be taking care of our first child who was just born. She already had all the soups and stew in the Freezer.

21. That was the first time I heard "DIY". Afterwards, I adjusted and realised that I had to have things I would be helping out with and not be acting like a Nigerian dad who would stretch his legs on the table and call someone from afar to get the remote control on the table he

22. has his legs on. Talking about Police pulling you over. On February 18, 2007, I was pulled over by a cop....I stepped out of my car to go meet him but he ordered me back into my car (I was a threat going to him). When the cop handed me the ticket for not having an insurance

23. ($5k penalty), I tried to beg him but he directed me to go to the Court and contest the ticket. Dem no dey beg Oyinbo police o...just comply with his instructions calmly. The good thing was that the fine was reduced to $2500 and I had over 2yrs to pay. I guess you wondered

24. why I didn't roger the cop or push him and hold him by the collar....all those drama should be left behind in Nigeria, otherwise, you will go to jail and have a criminal record which might not allow you get a job. Any traffic infraction goes on your Driver's License and will

25. jack up your insurance premium cos you're a risk on the road. When you are broke, you can't go to anyone to pinch even $10, they're not being wicked, they work for their money have bills to. All your bills from rent, car insurance cell phone and hydro are direct..you must

26. always have money to service them...no landlord or NEPA to beg for time to pay. You need to call before you go visit anyone. Mind you, your kids have more rights than you cos they can make you go to jail. You don't stick your finger out when talking to someone, you are being

27. aggressive.

Travelling abroad will reset your sloppiness and make you a better financial planner. The recklessness or lawlessness in Nigeria is road to jail in the abroad. For those who demand respect, abroad is a leveller....no one will use "sir" or "uncle" for you.

28. Last year, Baba's friend from school came home with me, both were 10yrs then... the oyinbo boy stretched his hand out to greet me and asked for my name. I looked at his tiny hand, shook it (my son was shocked). The boy told me his name and asked for my, I said "Baba's dad".

29. This omo buruku said that can't be your name, you must have a name, I told him to just call me Baba's dad, he said "nice meeting you".

So many things you take seriously or for granted in Nigeria can cause you trouble. Looking forward to welcome you here soon.

30. We need each other to succeed in the abroad. Be mindful of who you have in your corner cos some would lead you astray or make your success to be delayed giving you wrong advice. Some want you to experience hardship.

God bless you for your patience to read my epistle.

!

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