i figured, my dad doesn't want me in his life.
he literally does anything to not have me at his house and now he's even going to another country, even though there's a global pandemic and i'm sick. we don't know if i have covid or not, because my dad refuses to let me take a test, but takes one himself.
today when he woke me up, he asked me 5 minutes before my first lesson if i go to school today. no, i am still sick and you shouldn't travel to another country tomorrow.
my cat also walked into my room. MY cat, who i own, not my dad. he wouldn't even let my very own cat be in my room with me when i reached for her and she walked happily towards me.
she's with kittens and they will come any day and he doesn't even want me to be home when i should be home and take care of my cat and kittens.
he's been like this ever since he and my mom divorced in 2016. for five years he have blamed everything on me. he doesn't even make sure i have eaten.
he always tell me that my sicknesses, which now is much better, is because it's "popular to be depressed or having a eating disorder" because nobody talked about it when he was young, but maybe that was because it was so tabu and something to be ashamed of back then..?
it took me till yesterday to realise how bad he treats me. but not only that! he only care for his own success and doesn't care about the situation our world is in at this very moment.
he will now go on his second trip to another country. he may work in that country, but he is not the only one who can't go to their job. he still can do his job from home and he has two more job in our country.
he always meet people, like colleagues and friends, in large groups, travel to a place to meet all of his friends at once. he even takes home people, just like right now at this very moment, even though i am sick, i have the symptoms of covid.
he even tried to force me to go with public transport both yesterday and today because he doesn't want to drive me four hours to my other home and then back to his own. and then he wants my mom to come and get me instead, but she works late and have things to do even after that.
i know it's kind of the same situation, but my mom works, my dad is sitting on the sofa and watches bb king live performances all day long while doing a little work sometimes.
i don't want this thread to go on forever, but i must say that how my dad handles these situations is kind of fun. he doesn't care about me, his only child, or any other human's well being. he hasn't got the answers from his covid-test yet, but still he's with a friend right now.
he goes and meet his 84 year old mother even though i am sick and he doesn't know if he is negative or positive yet. i really wish he will be positive, then he might get another view on all this, think about how many people he has met just the last 4 days.