#sakuatsu

when atsumu is younger, he asks his mother what color love is.

his mother looks at him in surprise, but then her face melts into a look filled with love, and she pulls him onto her lap to answer him. black, she says. black is the color of love. +

+ when little atsumu frowns and expresses that he thought black was a sad color and he doesn’t know why his mother would choose a color like that, his mother giggles and pokes his nose.

“black,” she says. “because it’s the color of your father’s hair. because it’s the color +

+ of the suit he wore at our wedding. because, it’s the color of the first gift he ever got me. black, because it reminds me of your father,” she finishes with a smile, eyes shining with adoration and love as she looks down at her son.

atsumu seems to be deep in thought, +

+ thumb and index finger resting on his face as he hums.

when he finally comes to a conclusion, he opens his mouth and says, “so the color of love is black because it reminds you of dad, and you love dad? is that right, mama?”

his mother hums and nods her head. “mhm, and when +

+ you love someone or something, love will be a color that reminds you of them,” she softly cradles his face as she speaks.

“when i fall in love?” atsumu asks, his entire demeanor filling up with awe.

his mother cheekily smiled and squishes his cheeks, right before her face +

+ falls as she looks at something behind atsumu.

“osamu, we do not put that in our mouths!”

his mother is right, of course.

atsumu loves volleyball, so he thinks love is the color white. because it’s (along with some other colors) the color of the ball. because it’s the color of his shoes when he plays. because it’s the color of the number on his jersey. +

+ because it reminds him of volleyball.

but still it doesn’t feel right.

so, he does what he always does when he’s in need of another opinion: he asks osamu.

osamu stares at him for a very long time.

“are ya bein’ serious?”

“hey! jus’ shuddup and answer the question!” +

osamu ponders for a moment. “green,” is the only thing he says before turning his attention back to his phone.

“wait! why?”

osamu shrugs and atsumu throws a pillow at him.

“if ya tell me, i’ll buy you onigiri for a week,” he knows he’s hit the jackpot when osamu raises his +

+ eyebrows and looks at him.

“because it’s the color of suna’s eyes. because it’s the color of the sweater he always steals from, me” osamu speaks nonchalantly but atsumu can tell that he means every word he’s saying. “because it reminds me of suna.” +

+ atsumu stares at his brother, and then bursts out laughing.

“ya fucking sap,” he wheezes out.

atsumu whines when osamu throws a pillow at him, the same one the blonde has catapulted his way a couple minutes ago. +

+ it’s a while before atsumu finds what his mother and brother had been talking about. he’s much older now, a professional volleyball player, the starting setter for the msby black jackals.

and he is in love with sakusa kiyoomi.

it’s yellow, he thinks. because it’s the +

+ color of kiyoomi’s uniform when he first sees him. because it’s the color of his hair when kiyoomi helps him bleach it. because it’s the color of the sunflowers that grow outside of their apartment. because it reminds him of kiyoomi. +

+ but it’s also black. because it’s the color of kiyoomi’s hair. because it’s the color of kiyoomi’s hair. because it’s the color of the two moles on kiyoomi’s forehead. because it also reminds him of kiyoomi.

but it’s also red. because it’s the color of kiyoomi’s cheeks when +

+ atsumu kisses him. because it’s the color of kiyoomi’s lips. because it’s the color of the uniform they both earned through their blood, sweat and tears. because it reminds him of kiyoomi.

but it’s also blue. and white. and orange. and brown. and teal. and purple. and grey. +

+ and every color that atsumu can think of.

because loving kiyoomi is not simple, it is not solid enough to be a single color. it’s the hues in his eyes when the sun shines just right. it’s the different shades that paint him every different color after practice. +

it’s the iridescent glow of the sunset on kiyoomi’s face as he sits on the balcony.

no, loving kiyoomi is a plethora of colors that atsumu wants to drown himself it.

thank you for reading !!!! i couldn’t sleep last night and i somehow came up with this !! ignore any typos <33

it’s supposed to be “drown himself in.” for the last tweet

rereading this thread and i actually really like it omg