I used to feel fragile. I would cry get out of consequences and throw tantrums when I didn't get what I wanted. The worst part is, it worked. At least, it worked to maintain my weaknesses and be coddled so I could feel better in the moment, but in reality, I felt like shit.

I was fortunate to evolve my victim mentality, not because I naturally grew out of it or because those strategies stopped working. I recognized it as a limitation and found people who were willing to treat my like a grown-up, even if it was uncomfortable or incited conflict.

Despite being a smart and capable woman, I had bad habits that prevented me from being resourceful and having a strong sense of self. Society reinforced these bad habits by rewarding emotional helplessness and promoting an entitlement to things without earning them.

I don't have a road map to escape the trappings of victim mentality. I know what it took for me and I don't necessarily wish that type of adversity on anyone, but I do think we can compassionately hold the line on double standards and treat each other like adults with agency.