Immediately I started dating outside this country, I knew she'd have to be a literal angel for me to marry a Nigerian.

I saw things I hadn't seen before.

The way I was raised was to expect to be the provider in a relationship. Then you meet women who insist on paying for

their own things.

It didn't make me feel less masculine. It just made me look out for special things I could do for them that they couldn't insist on doing for themselves.

I was raised to be a giver, I didn't mind people who were raised to be takers until I dated people who

were raised to be supporters and my whole outlook on what a relationship could be changed.

Post 2014 after I took my no dating vow. I still made exceptions for two women.

But they always have to go back to where they came from and the conversation died due to distance.

Until you have dated outside the shores of Nigeria, you may never experience some things.

This isn't to say you wouldn't find Nigerian women who are also supporters. I dated a girl from Abia with whom I split everything.

But she didn't do it because she liked me, she did it

because according to her mum, that's the only way to get men to respect you.

It wasn't done freely, it was a chip on her shoulder she had from her own parent's relationship with eachother and from her own vow never to let a man have a upper hand over her and the only way she

could see that happening is to not take his money.

Then you meet someone that supports and not because she's carrying a burden. It's more natural, less defensive.

Feels more like watching a flower bloom and less like watching a butterfly stuck in a cocoon.