I’m very happy in life rn and I’m managing all my BPD symptoms spectacularly well, even without medication. Instead of having destructive outbursts of rage and sadness, I’m actually THINKING about things first and trying to take a less destructive course of action.

I haven’t ever been able to do this before and I’m so proud of myself. I’m actually considering the consequences of my actions and learning to deal with my extreme mood swings in a way that is more considerate to those around me.

It normally goes like this:

Event triggers an extreme negative emotional response —-> I react with outburst of extreme rage or sadness, often hurting those around me —-> I calm down and severe guilt starts to set in —-> back to part one.

It now goes more like this:

Event triggers extreme negative emotional response —-> I do my best to dissect the scenario, realise my response is not rational, and try to calm down completely before discussing my feelings as calmly as I can with no blame

I’m still learning and I still react badly every now and then, but I try to keep the rage to a minimum as that particular symptom is the most destructive and, when it was at its worst last summer, I honestly didn’t recognise myself. Screaming, yelling, SMASHING my belongings.

Really thinking about the consequences (short term and long term) of my behaviour and my extreme outbursts on those around me has helped to tone my responses down.