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in a world where soulmates exist, soulmarks have slowly become something one should be ashamed of, something that you shouldnât show anyone.
itâs shameful, they say, to proudly display your ownership over another person, to proudly announce to the world that youâve been held
itâs shameful, they say, to proudly display your ownership over another person, to proudly announce to the world that youâve been held
hostage before you even had the right to choose.
to miya atsumu, that doesnât make any sense.
his parents never tried to hide theirs, purposely going out without the patches over their necks and intertwining their fingers as if they were the only two people in the world.
to miya atsumu, that doesnât make any sense.
his parents never tried to hide theirs, purposely going out without the patches over their necks and intertwining their fingers as if they were the only two people in the world.
his grandparents were the same, his parents used to tell the twins before bed, never cowering, never lowering their heads to the people who didnât have the courage to allow themselves to be found.
because of that, they found out, people have started to create what they call
because of that, they found out, people have started to create what they call
Fate Searching agencies. their purpose is to match their clients with their most compatible person rather than put them through thousands of heartbreaks before they find their other half, as people put it sometimes.
to the twins, that sounded like bullshit.
to the twins, that sounded like bullshit.
why spend so much money and time on an agency when people could just throw away their patches and live as if the norm had never existed in the first place?
still, they hid theirs wherever they went.
still, they pretended it didnât itch.
still, they pretended they were fine
still, they hid theirs wherever they went.
still, they pretended it didnât itch.
still, they pretended they were fine
with hiding this important part of who they were.
theyâre good students, theyâre good sons. they do what they have to do, they donât speak more than they should, and that should have been enough. to miya osamu, it is.
the same cannot be said about miya atsumu, the one who
theyâre good students, theyâre good sons. they do what they have to do, they donât speak more than they should, and that should have been enough. to miya osamu, it is.
the same cannot be said about miya atsumu, the one who
mindlessly runs his fingers over the edges of his soulmark patch, the one who finds himself staring out the window in the middle of class as he daydreams about the kind of person his soulmate would be.
to miya atsumu, the patch is a cage forever holding him hostage.
to miya atsumu, the patch is a cage forever holding him hostage.
Fate Searching, huh?
[ might continue this when i have the time! i had a thought and ran with it (as usual) so look forward to that sometime (hopefully) soon! ]
they play volleyball.
they're good players, recognized by everyone as a single entity when they're on court.
with atsumu's tosses and osamu's spikes, there isn't a single person who could win against their team, is what people say. still, it doesn't seem to be enough.
still, the twins fight after their matches, their hearts pounding ridiculously fast as they call each other out on their lousiness, on that one ball they could have saved.
still, they cry.
still, they run their fingers over their patches and feel the uneasiness starting to
still, they cry.
still, they run their fingers over their patches and feel the uneasiness starting to
flood their stomachs.
when, they ask themselves. when will we be free of this, when will we be able to find them?
when, they ask themselves. when will we be free of this, when will we be able to find them?
it doesn't take long before atsumu finds out his brother has already found his soulmate. it doesn't take him long because it's obvious to anyone who's willing to look for the signs.
osamu's soulmate takes shape in snarky comments and lazy eyes, in the way he sighs before he's
osamu's soulmate takes shape in snarky comments and lazy eyes, in the way he sighs before he's
called over to the court, in the way he smiles sweetly as soon as osamu's eyes meet his own.
atsumu doesn't say anything, though. he's not supposed to, is what they have been taught, because people have to find out by themselves, because no one should be able to
atsumu doesn't say anything, though. he's not supposed to, is what they have been taught, because people have to find out by themselves, because no one should be able to
modify the intricate paths Fate has woven for each person to take.
still, he remembers thinking, if we shouldn't go against it, why wear the patches, why make it harder than it already is?
so he watches as they drift closer and closer.
still, he remembers thinking, if we shouldn't go against it, why wear the patches, why make it harder than it already is?
so he watches as they drift closer and closer.
he smiles when they tell him they're dating.
he cries with them when they finally found out that /yes/, they're soulmates, even if he already knew.
still.
he cries with them when they finally found out that /yes/, they're soulmates, even if he already knew.
still.
still, atsumu can't help but allow the scorching shackles to wrap around his throat, around his heart.
still, he can't help but lock himself inside the bathroom that night and slowly run his fingers through his own mark as if his soulmate could feel it from wherever they were.
still, he can't help but lock himself inside the bathroom that night and slowly run his fingers through his own mark as if his soulmate could feel it from wherever they were.
still, he can't help but wonder.
/where are you and why can't i see you?/
still, he can't help but wish that /i hope i can see you soon/.
/where are you and why can't i see you?/
still, he can't help but wish that /i hope i can see you soon/.
"hello, i'd like to Fate Search."
his voice quivers, his hands sake and the entire world seems to be crashing over his shoulders when the receptionist looks up at him with a sweet smile on her face.
she doesn't wear a patch, a bright blue peony climbing up her neck.
she explains how the procedure goes:
1. he can fill out a form and choose whether he wants to expose his soulmark or not.
(showing it increases their chances of finding his soulmate, she tells him, but there are people who don't feel comfortable in doing so.)
1. he can fill out a form and choose whether he wants to expose his soulmark or not.
(showing it increases their chances of finding his soulmate, she tells him, but there are people who don't feel comfortable in doing so.)
2. he can also choose to allow them to take a blood sample so they can run it through their system.
(it's way faster this way, she tells him.)
3. for his last option, and the slowest one, she tells him, is giving his name and a brief description of the kind of person he is.
(it's way faster this way, she tells him.)
3. for his last option, and the slowest one, she tells him, is giving his name and a brief description of the kind of person he is.
it might not be a perfect match, she tells him, but there's only one way to know for sure.
"we will send you the results as soon as we get enough information on them, depending on whether they've specifically stated they want to meet their soulmates once we make contact with
"we will send you the results as soon as we get enough information on them, depending on whether they've specifically stated they want to meet their soulmates once we make contact with
them or not," she explains, "but, unfortunately, we won't be able to do anything if they don't wish to meet you. is that a risk you're willing to take?"
to meet the person who will forever be with him, one way or another, over his skin, inside his heart?
to meet the person who will forever be with him, one way or another, over his skin, inside his heart?
to finally be able to see them, the thousands of colors inside their eyes when they first realize that /ah/, to sway along to the slow crescendo of a melody only the two of them can hear?
it's preposterous to even think he would say no.
it's preposterous to even think he would say no.
"yes," he says, "i'll wait for as long as it takes."
[ hi! really quick poll here just so i can finally decide on a little something for the future! 
]
]
it should have been weird, meeting him wherever he went.
first, there were the matches against itachiyama.
then, there were the training camps.
then, there were the times they would accidentally bump into each other at random places. the pharmacy, the grocery store,
the park and even the old arcade the twins sometimes went to on the weekends.
everywhere he went, it was like sakusa kiyoomi got there first.
âi have relatives here,â was what he said, and that had been it.
atsumu knew better than to pry further, so he kept his mouth shut.
everywhere he went, it was like sakusa kiyoomi got there first.
âi have relatives here,â was what he said, and that had been it.
atsumu knew better than to pry further, so he kept his mouth shut.
he watched the way kiyoomi would sometimes lazily cover his patch with his palm, the way he would mindlessly run his fingers through the edges and slowly start to peel it off.
heâd never actually do it, no, heâd always stop before atsumu could see the colors that covered his
heâd never actually do it, no, heâd always stop before atsumu could see the colors that covered his
skin as a reminder of who he belonged to.
it becomes routine, somehow.
"my aunt has this weird matchmaking party and iâm being forced to attend,â he tells him one day, âso i figured, if you and your brother still havenât found your soul-â
it becomes routine, somehow.
"my aunt has this weird matchmaking party and iâm being forced to attend,â he tells him one day, âso i figured, if you and your brother still havenât found your soul-â
ââsamu has found his,â atsumu blurts out, âitâs suna rintarou, our middle blocker? theyâve been together for a while now. it fits, yeah? the two of them. iâm happy for him, really, i am. he deserves it.â
kiyoomi doesnât say anything, eyes locked on the patch over atsumuâs neck.
kiyoomi doesnât say anything, eyes locked on the patch over atsumuâs neck.
then, he hums. âdo you ever wonder what your soulmate looks like?â
yes, he has.
heâs spent countless nights staring out the window, listening to osamu blabbering in his sleep, wondering if they would be as pretty as he thinks they would, wondering how many different smiles they
yes, he has.
heâs spent countless nights staring out the window, listening to osamu blabbering in his sleep, wondering if they would be as pretty as he thinks they would, wondering how many different smiles they
would have and how many colors would be hidden inside their eyes.
but, of course, he wasnât about to tell him that, was he?
âiâve wondered,â he shrugs, âbut only a few times. no need to think too hard âbout that stuff, yeah?â
but, of course, he wasnât about to tell him that, was he?
âiâve wondered,â he shrugs, âbut only a few times. no need to think too hard âbout that stuff, yeah?â
atsumu watches as kiyoomi furrows his brows, as he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, as he looks elsewhere, and he watches as kiyoomi chuckles lightly, as he shakes his head and then as he nods softly, his eyes brighter than theyâve ever been.
âyeah,â he replies. âyeah, maybe youâre right.â
and that had been it.
and that had been it.
they're⊠friends.
theyâre not the usual friends, though, not when kiyoomi only answers him in monotone, not when kiyoomi refuses his calls, not when kiyoomi tells him heâs been set up with someone.
âtheyâre not my soulmate,â he tells atsumu over the phone one night,
âi wouldâve known if they were, right? my family just thinks itâs weird that we haven't met yet and, i don't know, i think theyâre getting desperate.â
well, /atsumu/ is starting to get desperate.
itâs not like he owns kiyoomi, is it? and itâs not like theyâre anything other
well, /atsumu/ is starting to get desperate.
itâs not like he owns kiyoomi, is it? and itâs not like theyâre anything other
than acquaintances, conveniently bumping into each other, conveniently being there when the other needs to talk and doesn't know who to reach out to.
they played together and against each other. they text and they talk on the phone sometimes.
they played together and against each other. they text and they talk on the phone sometimes.
kiyoomi isn't his, atsumu has to remind himself.
âwhy?â
because, really, /why/?
atsumu knows itâs a sensitive topic after kiyoomi takes a deep breath, a choked sound coming out of his mouth. he knows itâs a sensitive topic when kiyoomi chuckles bitterly on the other side of
âwhy?â
because, really, /why/?
atsumu knows itâs a sensitive topic after kiyoomi takes a deep breath, a choked sound coming out of his mouth. he knows itâs a sensitive topic when kiyoomi chuckles bitterly on the other side of
the line, when he sighs and hums softly as if heâs trying to organise his thoughts before he says something heâll end up regretting later.
or, maybe, as if heâs coming up with an excuse.
âmy family likes to follow traditions,â kiyoomi explains, âand almost everyone has met
or, maybe, as if heâs coming up with an excuse.
âmy family likes to follow traditions,â kiyoomi explains, âand almost everyone has met
their soulmates by the age of eighteen. i guess Iâm the odd one out, and maybe thatâs not something they're willing to allow.â
huh.
it's only after a few minutes in silence, the comfortable silence that only settles in when atsumu has his twin or kiyoomi by his side, that he
huh.
it's only after a few minutes in silence, the comfortable silence that only settles in when atsumu has his twin or kiyoomi by his side, that he
starts to feel uneasiness creeping up behind him, wrapping its long, dirty fingers around his throat, digging inside his chest and whispering that itâs over, itâs over, itâs over.
he doesn't think, he doesn't breathe, and before he knows it,
he doesn't think, he doesn't breathe, and before he knows it,
the words have already left his mouth:
âdâya wanna meet them?â
âno.â
kiyoomi doesn't stutter, doesn't need time to think.
he seems cold, bitter, unapproachable, but if thereâs something miya atsumu has learned about him ever since they started bumping into each other,
âdâya wanna meet them?â
âno.â
kiyoomi doesn't stutter, doesn't need time to think.
he seems cold, bitter, unapproachable, but if thereâs something miya atsumu has learned about him ever since they started bumping into each other,
ever since heâs been the only witness to kiyoomiâs flushed cheeks and silly smiles, is that heâs surprisingly warm, surprisingly sweet, surprisingly everything-anyone-would-want, and perhaps being faithful to the soulmate he hadn't yet met was one of the ways he'd found to prove
his devotion to this faceless person.
atsumu can't help but carve his nails into his sheets, clench his jaw and gulp down the jealousy that threatens to jump through his gritted teeth. /heâs not yours, heâs not yours, heâs not yours/.
âwould you?â
âhm?â
atsumu can't help but carve his nails into his sheets, clench his jaw and gulp down the jealousy that threatens to jump through his gritted teeth. /heâs not yours, heâs not yours, heâs not yours/.
âwould you?â
âhm?â
âthrow yourself into this potentially fruitless relationship with someone who doesn't have you over their skin,â kiyoomi explains, âor, you know, who wasnât destined to be with you. would you throw away a lifetime of presumed happiness for a lifetime of anguish, of the thousands
of doubts, of /i wonder if they met their soulmate today/?â
he wouldâve liked to say yes.
but itâs a funny thing, love.
once upon a time, atsumu would've said yes.
he wouldâve liked to say yes.
but itâs a funny thing, love.
once upon a time, atsumu would've said yes.
once upon a time, he would've dreaded the thought of being with anyone other than the person who had the same mark as him.
once upon a time, he wasnât in love with sakusa kiyoomi, but now he is.
he wants to say yes.
he doesn't say yes.
once upon a time, he wasnât in love with sakusa kiyoomi, but now he is.
he wants to say yes.
he doesn't say yes.
[ hello, hello!
before the final update on this thread i would like to share the playlist i listened to while writing it so that you can enjoy it too!
i'll try to update it as soon as i'm finished with my classes for the day, so stay tuned! ] https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Jh0CNhKdBFFqc6JSLqfZj?si=8QB9t7YwTdCBSolCR1BlzA
before the final update on this thread i would like to share the playlist i listened to while writing it so that you can enjoy it too!
i'll try to update it as soon as i'm finished with my classes for the day, so stay tuned! ] https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Jh0CNhKdBFFqc6JSLqfZj?si=8QB9t7YwTdCBSolCR1BlzA
