Where can I find people who are talking about South Asian autistics. Experiences of growing up with a language that has no name for adhd or autism. I think it's how I went undiagnosed until adulthood despite having majority traits #ActuallyAutistic #adhdautism

My mum used to tell this story of how as a child I walked around "daintily" on my tip toes and wouldn't put my foot flat on the ground because I was a "fastidious princess". I learned 2 weeks ago that is sometimes an ASD trait and not a cute toddler quirk

Cw/ food
My mum also told stories of how much of a fussy eater I was and how I'd go hungry all day refusing to eat what was put before me unless it was a particular food I liked. Unfortunately, since then I've developed an extremely unhealthy relationship with food/junk food.

She *still* tells stories of how different and distant I was from other children. How even amongst cousins, I'd sit and observe quietly from a distance refusing to get involved #ActuallyAutistic

Stories of how I'd suddenly and for "no reason" start crying for hours on end, distraught for no apparent reason to the point neighbours would turn up at the house to offer help. For a child that was otherwise "so well behaved, quiet, and no trouble at all" this wasn't alarming?

I've been stimming my whole life without realising it's what I was doing. pulling hair from my scalp until there was a bald patch, graduating to pulling eyebrows in my teens. The shame and embarrassment eventually pushed me to stimming in less visible ways #ActuallyAutistic

I used to compulsively track and memorise licence plates. Shop fronts. Street signs. Pavement tiles. Cracks in the wall, ceiling, floor.

I was obsessed with and terrified of death as a child. Unable to fall asleep because I was scared I'd die. I've struggled with insomnia my entire life. Existential dread was so strong at times I'd disconnect from reality entirely #ActuallyAutistic

I'd create elaborate and detailed fantasies in my head at night to escape from the intrusive thoughts and fear, to find sleep. I would become so immersed and obsessed with these fantasies that I'd continue them the next day. Going so far as refusing to go to school or

To socialise so I could sit and daydream in peace. I had literal hiding places where I could sit without being observed or disturbed so I could continue to build my fantasy world and story in peace #ActuallyAutistic #adhdautism

And yet I've heard that as an autistic I'm supposed to have trouble with imagination? If anything I had so much of it that I struggled to remain in the real world. It was painful, actually painful, having to leave the world inside my head to re-enter this one. #ActuallyAutistic

I haven't even spoken about the auditory processing difficulties, the sensory sensitivity, the bullying, the overwhelming empathy that would cause me so much pain and trouble my whole life. But I'm feeling overwhelmed right now so another time. #ActuallyAutistic #adhdautism