TW: suicide attempts

Sooooooo I am thinking, what if JC transmigrates into the past when he was still a kid? Like those mangas about the fem lead trying to kill herself to go back to wherever she came from. JC would very much try to kill himself, not because to go back to the

present, but to die.

Ok so post canon, JC went to supervise JL's night hunt with his friends, WWX, LWJ and WN were also there. It has been many years but the wound of revelation was still fresh. WWX, being the shameless man that he is, tries to talk to JC, act like they were

close like before, even tho they are not. WN kept his distance from JC and LWJ still glares at him whenever he ignores WWX.

So during their night hunt, they encountered a demon. This demon is much stronger than them and they didn't expect to see a demon here because they all

thought they would only face a yao or a low level demon.

So they fought the demon. While fighting JC saw WWX or JL within the demon's reach and is going to get hit. In a split second, JC managed to save WWX/JL because he received the attack.

By some miracle they managed to flee

from the demon and JC was now lying on the floor bloody and wounded, the core in him tried to send wave after wave of spiritual energy to heal the wound but the wound was too big and fatal, there were some demonic energy in that wound too. WWX and JL cried of course, and JC lied

there, accepting his fate.

He thought that he has fulfilled his purpose to his sect and his nephew, YMJ is now stable and prosperous and JL now has friends and WWX to guide him, he's not needed anymore.

As his eyelids gets heavier and heavier, he thought that he was finally

gonna die. That he was finally going to have the rest that he deserves because he's so damn tired. He's rather excited to now rest for eternity, just sleeping with no paperworks to do and no sect to worry. BUT NOOOO, fate has other plans. So they bring him back to the past

because of reasons. When JC woke up, he was confused because shouldn't he be dead rn? Did they manage to save him after all? But the room he's in was different from his yet so familiar, and he can feel no pain in his chest from the wound he got from the demon.

He became wary

and looked at his surroundings, everything looked like his room from before, even the familiar cracks on the wall was there. Realization hits him and he immediately gets up to find a mirror. When he has his hands on a mirror, he sees his face from when he's still young, he looks

like he's 7?!

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Of course he said that very loudly, his sister (that was supposed to be dead) and WWX (who was younger and in his original body) barged in the room, looking and fussing over him worryingly.

Apparently, he has been injured from a very vigorous

training and was put in his room to recuperate. His father and mother also came in his room. His mother, also worried, scolded him for training so recklessly. His father showed no care for him as always and told him to not act so rashly and to not be so weak.

Because of what his

father said, another round of screaming and arguing started. WWX and his sister stayed silent and away from the fighting couple.

JC was tired. He has heard this fight before and he doesn't want to hear it again. He didn't want to be dragged in the fight again. So his mind starts

to wander.

How the hell can he go back to the future? What the hell did he do? How did he even came here in the first place?

He racks his mind to that night hunt. He didn't remember seeing any arrays or talismans that night. And he's sure that there was no spell that was casted

Then it clicked. He was about to die back there, and he really didn't want to go back and live with WWX's core inside him again

He could try and kill himself!

He really didn't want to be here and live his life again, and he did want to die. So he wins right?

So brilliant JC!

With his mind set on killing himself, he faced his body to the wall behind him, he plants his palms on the wall, and bangs his head onto the wall. Hard.

He would surely die with this method right?

No. Because his siblings and parents prevented him from further banging his head

onto the wall. They stopped him from dying, he's pissed.

"Why the fuck would you do that A-Cheng?! Are you mad?!." His mother screeched.

He was damn pissed and he didn't want to talk so he glared at them. Even with the blood running down his face, the glare is still effective

Product from all the years of mastering the perfect glare to scare annoying self leaders. He's slightly glad that he could use it to his advantage now.

The family was surprised and backed down. 'The fuck just happened?!'. All of them were surprised, and confused because why the

hell was JC banging his head? Was he trying to kill himself.

JC didn't want to talk, so he left. There are many ways to kill oneself, he's sure one of those will be effective.

That night, the whole sect was awakened from the worried screams of the main family.

Why?

Because JC tried to kill himself again, by setting his room in fire.

It was a MESS. Every one in LP rushes to grab a bucket and fill it up with water to extinguish the fires.

Everyone has no idea what the fuck is happening, their only thought was to save the young heir.

By the time the fires were put out, they all saw the young heir

lounging in the middle of the room. Looking so pissed.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS PUT THE FIRE OUT?!"

......what?

All of them, including the main family, would be like

All of them were stupefied. All they could do was watch JC stand up and walk out of the burnt room with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

Just what the fuck?!?!

All of them went to sleep, they didn't even know how they went to sleep but they did.

The morning after, they all thought

that the incident was only just a dream, but when they see remains of the Jiang heir's burnt room, they realized that it wasn't.

They thought that that incident was a one time thing, they are damn wrong.

The whole YMJ was awakened, again. Because the disciples who went on a night hunt that night brought home a wounded JC.

The young heir had snuck out of his quarters and followed the group of disciples

that went on a night hunt, the disciples didn't know because the kid was too sneaky. When they faced and fought a group of fierce corpses, imagine the horror that they felt when the young heir ran up to a trashing corpse and willingly presented their small body to be hit.

The poor boy fucking flew because of that hit, and his back slammed onto a tree.

The disciples were shocked, and traumatized.

Good news is, the disciples were not punished. Because 1.) They didn't know that the kid was following them. 2.) The disciples weren't in the right state to take punishments because they were utterly disturbed, and are traumatized, and 3.) They are absolutely afraid that when the

young heir knows, he will join them in doing the punishments and will find another opportunity to kill himself again. JC is an opportunist.

The bad news is, THE YOUNG HEIR WOULD NOT STAY DOWN!

They saw, on the next day, early in the freaking morning, the young heir UPRIGHT AND WALKING with bandages on and blood seeping through the shirt.

Where the fuck is he going?

He went on top of a hill. (let's just imagine there is a hill in Yunmeng)

And what the fuck did he do?

HE FUCKING ROLLED DOWN FROM THE TOP OF A FUCKING HILL!

The hill was fucking rough and rocky! He would get hurt! What the fuck was he doing?!

The loud scream of a lady who woke up early and witnessed the rolling incident woke up the people near her. All of them ran to stop the young heir from rolling and from sustaining even more injuries.

News spread fast and it reached the main family with a disciple banging onto

the door and is panting very hard. The whole fam didn't even dressed up properly when the hurriedly went to the scene.

When they saw JC, bloody from the previous wounds, with cute and bruises decorating his small, pale body, the jiang sibs and MDY immediately ran up to hug him.

They were all so fucking worried, even JFM was shookt by the incident.

What is wrong with their son? Why is he trying to kill himself so badly?

They all came home to LP with the JYL and WWX sobbing while holding onto YZY's robe, YZY stopping her tears while holding the wounded

boy, JFM walking beside her strangely without his usual calm disposition, and the disciples who came with them trailing behind them, some in tears, while some in shock.

All of them had a feeling that this is not the end.

All of YMJ can breathe a little easier now that the young heir is sleeping. To prevent him from getting up and doing another stunt again, they mixed powderized sleeping pills to his medication. He should be out for a day or two.

These past few days felt like a dream. With the

strange change of the young heir's attitude and his attempts on killing himself, everyone is on edge.

Everyone could agree that the young heir was different from the one they knew. Before, he would train and train and train, trying to please his parents and striving to be better

than his adopted brother WWX. He never took a break, saying that his time is better spent training and studying. Now, he always finds ways to kill himself, even going as far as to endanger himself to die.

Did all these years of pressure, lack of love and affection and constant

comparison has taken its toll on the kid?

Everyone finds the young boy very sweet and caring, always very diligent in his training and studies, he never settles for less and always strives to be better. He is also very thoughtful. He is different from other young masters because

he cared for the people. He would always help struggling disciples, teaching them the proper form and swing. He is always polite to the helpers of LP, always greeting them and always thanking them for their hard work.

He is very sweet that he would always gives them a gift

every birthday, little trinkets and handmade charms. They all have a special place, or box, or shelf to store the precious gifts of the heir.

He never looks down on them because of their status, he never bullies them and he always treats them equally.

It saddens and it hurts

them that because of the high expectations, the constant fighting of his parents, the constant reminder of his brother being better than him, and the lack of fatherly love that he should have gotten have hurt and beaten the poor boy, so bad that he has turned to suicide as a way

to finally achieve freedom and peace.

It hurts them too. And this made them all the more protective of the young heir.

The world could burn for all they care, they would do anything to not have the flames lick the skin of their future heir.

The next day, the whole YMJ is in a ruckus, because the young heir now tried to kill himself again, by hanging himself.

They all thank the gods because the head healer saw him dangling on a beam and brought him down. They would never forget the pissed off expression on the young

heir's face.

The youngest jiang made them fucking terrified for fifth time, and now, with the hanging incident, they now know that he is serious in dying.

The whole YMJ is now aware of their suicidal heir and had made a promise to themselves to stop the heir when he tries yet another way to die.

On the other hand, JC is pissed, VERY VERY PISSED. Because WHY WONT THEY LET HIM DIE?!

He has done everything, tried everything. Hanging, burning to death, jumping of roofs, starvation, poisoning, drowning himself, and even holding his breath. You name it, he already tired it

BUT HE STILL WONT DIE?! WHY?!?!

He doesn't want to stick around for much longer, other than the fact that he is now going to relive his life of tradegy and loneliness, his childish brother kept pestering and sticking himself into him.

It's really annoying!

He just can't seem to be alone anymore. There will always be someone with or near him, whether it be a disciple, a helper, or one of his family members. They stick around him and they never leave him alone even if he asks.

Everyone seemed to be conspiring to stop him. Even the

townsfolk, like why?! They would still have a sect leader, and WWX is still there, he can be the next heir so why bother trying to keep him alive?

He finds it weird how many of them is trying and is willing to try and stop him, he always thought that no one really cares for him

Now he tries again, this time by tying himself onto a horse so that when it runs, he will get dragged along and finally die

When he's ready to slap the horse's butt (after saying an apology), his hand was stopped and he was immediately yanked away from the horse, the rope has been cut and he's now carried by his father's right hand man.

He wants to throw a tantrum *pouts*

Disciple: Young master jiang you shouldn't put yourself in danger like that, what if you get hurt?!
JC: That's the point.
Disciple: *sighs*

JFM's right hand man dragged him back to LP and JC was angry pouting all the way.

The people around that was seeing the young heir would have thought that he was very cute when pouting, but then they remembered why he was carried away in the first place.

When will this end?

JC was this close to throwing an angry fit when he saw his mother walking towards him. He thought he was going to get scolded and reprimanded again, but he was surprised when she pulled him into a tight hug instead.

The hug was so unexpected and surprising that JC doesn't

know what to do, should he hug her back? His hands were frozen and stuck mid air. His mother has never hugged him before, as far as he knows, so this is very surprising for him.

He likes it tho, being hugged by his mother like this, it makes him think about the times where he

was alone and lonely, with no one to hug him as tightly as this. It felt good.

When MDY let's go, JC finds himself wanting for more. She knelt in front of him and held him by the shoulder.

YZY: Don't ever do that again A-Cheng, don't ever try anything dangerous again.
JC: ................I can't promise that mother.

He was being honest! He can't promise

her that, if he did then it would be lying.

His saw his mother's shoulders sag a little, and he regrets saying what he said. He regrets just for a moment, but it quickly disappears. Everything would be better when he dies, with him gone, mother and father wouldn't fight anymore

He should try harder next time.

He promises himself to try harder, and try harder he did.

It was the time for the sword anointing, where they will finally get their sword that matches well with their cultivation level and spiritual energy. The every disciple of age had gotten their sword and bowed in thanks (

I'm making things up with the sword thing ok)

When they finally got back to their quarters after a day of celebration and training, JC has found another opportunity.

What better way to end your life than using a sword! It's the most practical and LETHAL thing to use

Now he would surely die with this.

He turn to sword to face himself, and thrusted the blade into his abdomen.

He didn't like the pain, but he is used to feeling pain. He has gotten hurt lots of times, what's one more?

JC dropped to his knees, he felt his vision blackening and his body swaying. The last thing he heard before he passed out was the sound of the door harshly opened and a scream from none other than WWX.

He can die, finally.

Most of the jiang fam has experienced seeing and saving their youngest from killing himself, it was an experience they want to forget completely.

It was never nice to witness your son or sibling trying to commit suicide.

They all had their experiences. YZY managed to stop JC just in time before he drank poison that he had stolen from her.

It was really a lucky save. Earlier that day, JC went to her study for her weekly check up on his studies. JC did good as always, what's different tho is that

when she usually scolds him for not being good enough to surpass WWX, this time she really looks onto her son's achievements and was very proud. He is doing so great at his cultivation and studies, why didn't she see it before.

She looked at her son in awe but was soon replaced

by guilt when she saw him looking down, his fist clutching tightly onto his robe and chewing his bottom lip. It's like he was expecting another scolding from her.

It broke her heart.

"You did great." She said.

It broke her heart even more when she saw him look at her with wide

eyes full of shock and disbelief.

Was she always so bad towards her son?

She masked her sadness well and processes to praise him for his achievements, his eyes going wider and wider with every praise, mouth gaping at her.

When she finished he bashfully said a small thank you

and bowed before leaving.

She felt that something was wrong. Something's missing.

Her motherly instincts kicked in and she hurried to her shelf of poisons. She checked every shelf, checking whether every bottle is still there.

One is missing, and she knows where it is.

She dashed to her son's room. She reached his room and opened his door to find him and the opened bottle.

He saw her too, and tried to hurriedly drink the poison. But she was way faster than him, and she manages to pry the bottle out of his hands and throwing it away from their

reach.

The first thing she heard from her son was "Mother, why did you threw that away?! That was a rare poison!"

He's worried about a mere poison? He's not even worried about him dying?

Was it her? Did she do something wrong?

YZY: "Why?"
JC: "It's better this way."

She can't believe it. Did her son really thought that it's better with him gone?

She rushed out from the room, not forgetting to command her spiders to clean the poison, and heads to her quarters where she cried.

She hasn't been a good mother, has she?

If you compare all of their experiences, JYL had the mildest experience, that doesn't make it any less scary.

JYL saw JC during one of her daily walks. Usually she lets him be, but because of the recent event and attempts, she decided to follow him. He didn't seem to notice her

yet.

She followed her brother, wondering where he was headed, until she saw him going in the sect's clinic.

Her first thought was that maybe he was injured and went to the clinic to be healed so she got worried, but upon entering, she saw him with a handful of pills.

The sight looks as if he just innocently has poured too many pills onto his hand, but JYL knew better. She didn't know what was he going to do, but she knew that she should pull him out right now.

So she did, she took the pills off of his hands, much to his surprise to seeing

her, she put the pills back into the bottle, and dragged her brother out by the hand, JC letting her drag him.

JYL has managed to avoid yet another incident and another attempt.

Good job JYL!

*prevent