ok I feel like I’ve seen a recurring western take of “danmei is so romantic even when censorship makes kissing and sex impossible on screen” and the assumption seems to be that without censorship there WOULD be sex/kissing? but that is not necessarily the case depending on genre

traditionally, period dramas & wuxia in particular don’t show much sex/kissing. in recent decades this has shifted somewhat, esp if the show is specifically a romance. but in wuxia and more serious historical dramas it’s still the case that there is limited physical affection.

Many of the most iconic couples don’t ever kiss. guo jing & huang rong? No. Even yang guo & xiaolongnu, arguably THE wuxia couple don’t touch all that much esp. in the older adaptations. recent ones might be spicier. but a lot of the romance is from tender gazes & caring actions

Tight hugs after near-death experiences! Vows of unconditional support! Horse riding together and a head lean is PEAK ROMANCE. Training together, helping to heal them with internal energy! Traveling together! Kisses might happen but it’s certainly not surprising to NOT see them

Even if the cp is hetero, these are common cultural norms of the genre, and honestly of Chinese culture more broadly until the recent decades. Ask your cn friends if they’ve ever seen their parents kiss. I for one have never seen it in my quarter century of life.

thinking back... most of the “sex scenes” in wuxia are all... not sexy or romantic. like in 天龙八部, two characters are fed an aphrodisiac and locked in a cave and it’s very much a Bad Time as they try to resist (they are also believed to be half-siblings for most of the show).

same show, one character tries to force another (one of the protags) to break his vows as a monk and learn her martial arts by kidnapping a woman and sneaking her into his bed. In Return of the Condor Heroes, there is a non-con scene where a character pretends to be someone else.

None of these sex scenes are graphic, but they were all Not a Good Time. In contrast, the actual romance between couples is much more physically restrained. At its most scandalous you get a waist grab (Yang Kang & Mu Nianci in LoCH) and it’s pointed out as something overly bold

It also very much depends on the characterization of the couple. Zhang Wuji and Zhao Min from 倚天屠龙记 are much more likely to kiss across adaptations because she’s a feisty, vicious Mongolian princess and that’s just their dynamic. With ethereal Xiaolongnu? Much less likely

Thinking outside wuxia, nirvana in fire 1 & 2 both also don’t show kisses between the main m/f couples. So to say that all this restraint is the result of censorship is overly simplistic and actually just inaccurate.

part of the reason we’re all losing our minds over shl and if you watch, for example the straight guys react series on bilibili is that a LOT of what they’re doing mirrors the romance in traditional wuxia! The cues are all there! Ofc they plaster over it verbally with 知己 lol

I’m not speaking about modern/palace dramas/romantic xianxia but again, it’s reductive to say that all of the restrained longing in cdramas is due to censorship. And while censorship presents many obstacles, not being able to show kissing is... not necessarily the biggest one.

& sex scenes? can’t speak for modern dramas b/c I don’t watch them much but in period shows? Almost unheard of. You’re gonna get the fade to black. Sometimes comments about danmei border on romanticizing censorship— “oh, despite all these obstacles they showed such pure love!”

And that can be really uncomfortable (that’s a separate conversation), but I do think it’s important to acknowledge that the cultural norms of CN media are different and that lack of censorship =/= automatic PDA onscreen. Genre matters, folks.