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Want to hear a crazy story?
On Sunday morning at 10:50am I was walking into a wax appointment at Unikwax in North Miami.
On Sunday morning at 10:50am I was walking into a wax appointment at Unikwax in North Miami.
At 10:51 I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in my back and chest and difficulty breathing.
I described it to my husband as someone inserting 50 knives in my chest and back simultaneously, me begging them to stop, and them pressing harder.
I described it to my husband as someone inserting 50 knives in my chest and back simultaneously, me begging them to stop, and them pressing harder.
Katya, the wax lady, walks into the room and asks me how my day’s going. I tell her I’m alright just some back pain due to pregnancy. I’m trying to stay calm and collected.
I’m 23 weeks pregnant.
I’m 23 weeks pregnant.
She starts to wax my legs. I tell her I need to take a break. I text my husband to pick me up and take me to the ER. He picks me up a few minutes later (luckily he was close by) with our two kids and we go to the closest ER.
I leave my credit card at the wax place and storm out.
I leave my credit card at the wax place and storm out.
At 11:30 chest X-rays show a collapsed lung.
A collapsed lung? Me, a healthy, active, never hospitalized, non-smoker, non-drinker pregnant 33year old?
A collapsed lung? Me, a healthy, active, never hospitalized, non-smoker, non-drinker pregnant 33year old?
The timing may have been coincidental but given that I had no other risk factors for collapsed lungs I should mention I got the Pfizer Covid vaccine 2 weeks ago.
(no evidence of a link, but other women deserve to know)
(no evidence of a link, but other women deserve to know)
Back to the story. The ER doctor quickly inserts a chest tube to begin to eject the air out of my lungs.
One hour later I’m transferred to the ICU unit in the main hospital.
I’ve been here for two nights with very limited pain medication given my pregnancy.
One hour later I’m transferred to the ICU unit in the main hospital.
I’ve been here for two nights with very limited pain medication given my pregnancy.
Some freshly baked thoughts while still going through this very intense, emotional experience
Every day is a fucking gift. They always say that whoever “they” are. Now I’m one of them.
Pain is what you believe about what your body is experiencing.
Our interpretation of what is happening dictates our experience of what is happening.
Initially, the pain felt insurmountable. I was alone in a dark hospital room. The pain threatened to swallow me up.
Our interpretation of what is happening dictates our experience of what is happening.
Initially, the pain felt insurmountable. I was alone in a dark hospital room. The pain threatened to swallow me up.
Small doses of morphine (appropriate for pregnancy) didn’t help. I felt helpless.
I tried something different. Looking at photos of my kids. Videos of my husband playing the piano. Soothing music. Texting with friends. Meditation.
I tried something different. Looking at photos of my kids. Videos of my husband playing the piano. Soothing music. Texting with friends. Meditation.
Amidst intolerable pain, meditation transported me to a place of serenity and calm.
A powerful reminder that the environment we create in our minds is as real as the one we’re physically in.
This, via Michael Singer.
A powerful reminder that the environment we create in our minds is as real as the one we’re physically in.
This, via Michael Singer.
In life’s most important moments, you hope that there will be people there for you. What we ALL need is to feel we matter.
I have felt this in spades.
My friends and fam have helped me find love in fear and strength in pain.
I have felt this in spades.
My friends and fam have helped me find love in fear and strength in pain.
There is no greater pain (or barrier to recovery) than feeling unneeded.
I had plans to launch something exciting this week (hopefully next?) but you plan - God laughs.
We truly never know what the next moment is going to bring.
We truly never know what the next moment is going to bring.
Last bit of unsolicited advice (for now
): There is no room for self-pity in pain.
): There is no room for self-pity in pain.
Remember the words of Jon Zabat:
As long as you are breathing there is more right with you than wrong with you, no matter what is wrong.
#imokyoureokay
As long as you are breathing there is more right with you than wrong with you, no matter what is wrong.
#imokyoureokay
