Read on Twitter
//srs+delete l8r
I think I am increasingly sensitive bc I am back in Roc
light cw for ed, sh
I think I am increasingly sensitive bc I am back in Roc
light cw for ed, sh
(the town, home and room I was repeatedly traumatized in, sleeping in the same bed I was sexually traumatized in ~a year ago, adjacent to the town I was ******** in, with people who gave me no privacy or security to express myself without fear of consequence)
but I sit here & I feel like a teenager again, just wanting to cry & starve & hurt myself cause it& #39;s retraumatizing every day and every night, and it& #39;s so lonely being so close but so far from my Roc friends, and being (unintentionally?) ignored + talked over by other friends
which is super demotivating for me to work bc the whole point is to go back asap but it almost feels like it wouldn& #39;t matter if I went back or not
these few months have sucked all the energy from me. I have no more fighting spirit in me. and the embarrassing part is I can& #39;t just
these few months have sucked all the energy from me. I have no more fighting spirit in me. and the embarrassing part is I can& #39;t just
tell someone / my friends privately bc I don& #39;t know how to be open and vulnerable around people I care about... so here I am, oversharing on twitter, just like I used to on Tumblr
weirdly the only thing moving me forward is the fact that I& #39;m still pining over someone who will never text me first no matter how much I hope for it, which is a criminally low standard, but they were the first person that made me feel happy + safe + didn& #39;t hide me, which is the
closest I& #39;ve been to a real, happy relationship, but my standards for how I should be treated are so low that I& #39;m sure it will b a long time before I feel all three of those things at the same time again
so yeah I dunno, sorry to any1 who sees themselves referred to in this thread b4 I delete it, tldr things suck super bad & I don& #39;t know how to keep fighting, end of thread
