we're all having a good time with the "different person after covid" thing but between the pandemic and my depression I really am afraid I'm coming through this as a different person, and a worse one

we're coming up on a year since I watched a movie. I don't read any books or comics. I haven't listened to any music.

my main hobby before all this was board gaming. I haven't played a board game (even online) in almost a year. I have no interest in them anymore. I've logged on to BGG once in the past several months.

weekends and days off from work are anxiety-producing for me because I don't know what to *do* with myself. all I *want* to do is play around on my phone

the only things I still do are crossword puzzles, video games, and duolingo. Those are fine, but they aren't much.

I like workdays because I usually have something to do (it is bad for me when work is slow and I don't have any tasks) and because there's a structure to the day. non-workdays are no good.

so yeah, I do feel like I'm a different person. a hollow one. I leaned into the solitary do-nothing environment that covid instilled and my depression thrived in and now I'm not sure how to get out of it

politically I'm a dead fish. What happened during the Trump years and what's happening now have bled all my hope away. a better world is possible -- it MUST be -- but it will never be fulfilled by this wretched cruel country