Read on Twitter
I hate this, honestly. I& #39;m aware of my entire thought process yet I& #39;m unable to pull out of the spiral of negativity anyway.
When it comes to art I want pictures that will fulfill this weird emotional hole in me - that will make me feel happy about having the kinks that I do.
When it comes to art I want pictures that will fulfill this weird emotional hole in me - that will make me feel happy about having the kinks that I do.
it actually really bothers me that almost everything that I draw or commission features a giant white void background. It bothers me that the stuff I commission sometimes turns out to be unsatisfying. There are pictures I& #39;ve gotten that I don& #39;t like at all.
I have a lot of desires that won& #39;t ever see the light of day if I don& #39;t commission or draw them myself. I& #39;ve come to realize that seeing hyper characters living happy, sexually-positive or even slutty lives is actually deeply comforting to me.
because that carries the subtext of "hey, that weird kink you& #39;re extremely self-conscious about and you can& #39;t actually talk about publicly, often not even to other furries? Yeah no it& #39;s normal to like it and you shouldn& #39;t feel bad, look how happy they are enjoying it~"
So like when I say "growth is best when shared with friends" I mean it on like the most sincere level possible, my ideal world is the sort depicted in doug winger or gideon or rabid art where everyone& #39;s casually oversized and living happy stress-free lives without worry
but conversely the thing is that it& #39;s really, really hard to achieve that feeling in a single picture without a fully-realized background and other things and I& #39;m certainly not capable of drawing it myself and can& #39;t really afford to commission it often, either >_>
and I guess the whole reason I did this thread was to try and figure out why it bothers me so much but now that I& #39;ve said all this it& #39;s probably this distinct feeling that the world has been ridiculously shitty for the past five years or more and it& #39;s probably given me
an actual (low-grade) anxiety disorder but I don& #39;t have the capacity to get art which will help me feel better about it and forget about the shittiness even temporarily because it& #39;s increasingly being priced out of my budget.
I got really mad at the auction thing because my immediate visceral response was "this art is too mediocre to be worth $1200, the whales only want it because the artist has 10K followers" and I still sort of feel that way but the underlying corollary is also kind of...
"I can& #39;t even bring myself to pay $200 for a fully colored piece, I& #39;d LOVE to get something from like boosterpang or some shit but even if I could afford it I get anxiety just thinking about getting a slot because WHAT IF IT DOESN& #39;T TURN OUT AS WELL AS I NEED IT TO" and... and...
I guess it just doesn& #39;t feel fair.
