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3 Brilliant Tips for Social Skills Newbies
A thread
https://thinkersboulevard.wordpress.com/2021/04/13/3-brilliant-tips-for-social-skills-newbies/
A thread
https://thinkersboulevard.wordpress.com/2021/04/13/3-brilliant-tips-for-social-skills-newbies/
Have you ever wondered what makes people the most advanced species out there?
The reason is simple: Humans are social animals. Though we are not the only social animals on earth, we are the most advanced social animals out there. This is what has allowed us to advance our civilisation as far as we have. This is what makes Man a superior being!
Our ability to communicate better and more complexly than any other social animals is what makes the human race more evolved than all other animals. It is therefore clear that social and communication skills are extremely important to us and thus everyone needs to improve them.
WHAT ARE SOCIAL SKILLS?
If they make man as advanced as they are compared to animals, then exactly what are social skills?
Social skills are the set of skills we use to exchange information and communicate certain messages to each other.
Social skills are the set of skills we use to exchange information and communicate certain messages to each other.
These skills can include verbal ones, body language, written communication(e.g. this blog), signs and symbols(e.g. road signs) or other methods.
Social skills allow us to understand each other and exchange ideas that allow us to be able to work together on things that would otherwise be harder to do as individuals.
For high-quality communication, which is a result of good social skills, it is important to work on yourself and improve your social skills. They are important because communication and social skills keep order for our species.
For instance, just imagine a world without road signs. Their use is usually ignored but they are so important to us as tools of communication. Social skills are however broader than inanimate road signs.
Social skills go deeper and are more about conveying your character more than anything. Think of social skills like road signage that leads people into understanding each other's logic and emotions. The better you become at social skills, the better your life gets in general.
Who wouldn't want to have such skills?
The truth is, while social skills are a basic requirement for survival, not everyone has good or even okay social skills. A lot of people have poor social skills.
This may come as no surprise because, though we were taught things like reading, writing and Math, this was one of the important things that school neglected. Think about it, what social skills does school teach?
Most people are not even aware of their lack of communication skills until they find themselves in adverse scenarios. This includes having to face a crowd or being new at your school or workplace.
Except for adverse situations in daily life, one may realize that they have subpar social skills when they want to improve certain parts of their life.
They may realize that they have no idea how to do things like networking, negotiating with their boss for a better position or a raise, influencing their team members after being promoted to a leadership position and many others.
Their social skills are only challenged once they try to do things beyond their normal lives. Once things are not "normal", people come to the startling realization that they do not have social skills at the level they had initially assumed.
Let's face it, normal people can talk to people in their lives every day and think they have good social skills.
However, most people lose all that once they are in a new environment and even come off as introverts because of how isolated they become and how shy they are when strangers strike up conversations with them.
So how do you improve your social skills?
To improve your social skills, you first have to know examples of these "good" social skills. The list below shows social skills that are essential for you to improve various parts of your life and how to improve each of them
To improve your social skills, you first have to know examples of these "good" social skills. The list below shows social skills that are essential for you to improve various parts of your life and how to improve each of them
1. Communication
According to the dictionary, communication is the imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium. The ability to communicate is the basic foundation for good social skills. If you do not have that skill don't worry!
It is something anyone can learn. What makes communication important is that you can create a synergistic environment around you (personal or career) by always effectively communicating your thoughts and feelings.
Good communication means you are more able to let people know how you see things and therefore it gets a lot easier for them to know how to act around you.
The number one key to actually improving your communication can be unlocked by simple practice. For verbal communication, the 3 things to always be aware of are our body language, voice and tonality and body language.
Of those 3, Dr Albert Mehrabian found out that 55% of personal communication is Body language, 38% is voice and tonality and spoken words account for the remaining 7%.
For body language, the general advice is to always have 'open' body language. Some advice include never folding your arms, not crossing your legs when sitting, holding your head up and taking your chest out.
The more space you physically take up in general, the better your body language. Always make sure you have a open body language all the time to portray confidence and charisma ( https://thinkersboulevard.wordpress.com/2021/03/19/confidence-and-charisma-how-do-we-improve-them/).
Next, we have voice and tonality. The key to a good voice is speaking more slowly but in a very audible manner. Slow does not mean so slow people lose interest, it just means that you should allow yourself to complete every word such that you are heard.
Breathing exercises also help a lot. Your voice also has various pitches and it's always advisable to use varying levels of your pitch to make you sound less monotone. If you speak in one pitch and tone and speed, you sound like a robot and have less social appeal.
It almost feels to a person that you have no emotions and thus lowers your perceivable emotional skills. For more on voice and tonality, go check:
Last we have spoken words…which account for only 7% of personal communication. The truth is, what you say the word for word is not all that important, it is just the cherry on top if you already have the previous two.
However, for the sake of executing as much as you can, things like reading material and other places where good language can be found are a good start. Even the dictionary and thesaurus could help you widen your vocabulary so that you improve how you communicate your ideas.
This may seem a bit too far, but for those seeking to take it to the very top, it would be a good idea.
2. Empathy
Empathy is a very important emotional skill because it creates rapport. It is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
When you can put yourself in somebody else's shoes, you connect with them at a deeper level that makes you feel like you have known each other for a longer time than yob have.
This is a social skill that is critical not just for meeting new people, but for reconnecting with the people you already know in a different realm.
To be more empathic, and thus gain better emotional awareness, you need to first be more curious about the people around you. Listen to their stories, understand their problems and avoid making any judgements. The mere listening is enough.
You need not always add your 2 cents worth as sometimes you see things from a limited place, just listening is good enough as it helps you get a deeper understanding of what the other person is feeling and where they are coming from.
Empathy is more about the other person and not you.
The more you do this and with more diverse sets of people, the better!
The more you do this and with more diverse sets of people, the better!
3. Cooperation
The truth is, no man is an island. Social skills are "social" because they have to do with interacting with other people. For you to become better at them, you need to learn how to cooperate with others.
This means you have to be open to new ideas that may sometimes be different from your normal ones. This also means you have to be able to listen to others and if necessary compromise on your ideals for the better good.
Do beware however that you do not suddenly become a doormat that everyone will step on simply because you cooperate so much that you let people walk all over you.
Cooperation also means you will be firm enough not to let people go with their ideas simply because they want to but rather use your social skills to try and get everyone on the same wavelength.
Other social skills include persuasion, negotiation, relationship management, respect and more. These are also very important and can be improved using the aforementioned communication and empathy skills.
So where do you start?
Whether we talk about social skills for kids, social skills for teens or even social skills for adults, the basic framework is very similar. One way that you can get better at an accelerated pace is to work on the skills every day. Depending on your level of skill i.e.
beginner or advanced, you could set daily challenges.
A simple technique would be giving yourself a certain number of people you either say hi to or have short conversations with PER DAY. An example would be:
Today I am going to talk to 5 strangers and ask them how their day went.
Today I am going to talk to 5 strangers and ask them how their day went.
This is a simple template that you can modify depending on where you are currently as far as your communication and how fast you want to grow.
Another is to start going to social events or new habits that will allow you to meet more people. These habits can include joining a gym, playing a sport or whatever suits you.
When you are in an environment where you are likely to interact with people, you put yourself in a position to practising and while at the same time you do not put pressure to succeed as you go to places you would still go to otherwise.
Over time, you will learn how to talk to people and your social skills will get better. The real important part is actually doing all these consistently. Social Skills and communication skills are very important for a holistic life.
For more on how to improve your social skills, please go watch this video from RSD: Tyler's True Motivation For Mastering Social Skills: Supercharge Your ENTIRE Life ().
This thread can be read here: https://thinkersboulevard.wordpress.com/2021/04/13/3-brilliant-tips-for-social-skills-newbies/
