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A thread on personal failures, lessons and an attempt towards owning them.
It all started from Class 9th (2007).
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It all started from Class 9th (2007).
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2/ Before that I was always the first. You name it and I used to have it. First in class. First in school. Best student. Whatever my then school defined as “first”, I used to have it. Failure was nowhere near.
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Class 9th onwards, things changed. Joined another school & started experiencing failures. Got to know about TCS IT WIZ and took part for 4 years straight. But couldn’t win. Couldn’t score well in IIT/AIEEE/BITS exam.
Class 9th onwards, things changed. Joined another school & started experiencing failures. Got to know about TCS IT WIZ and took part for 4 years straight. But couldn’t win. Couldn’t score well in IIT/AIEEE/BITS exam.
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So joined a private college. Topped college in First sem & then never. Tried twice for Crucible quiz, but couldn’t win. Failed at getting a coding internship. Tried doing a startup in second year but couldn’t run it beyond 6 months.
So joined a private college. Topped college in First sem & then never. Tried twice for Crucible quiz, but couldn’t win. Failed at getting a coding internship. Tried doing a startup in second year but couldn’t run it beyond 6 months.
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Couldn’t clear GSOC twice. Performed below expectations at ACM ICPC regionals. Interviewed with Directi, but no luck. All the efforts combined landed me at Paytm though.
Couldn’t clear GSOC twice. Performed below expectations at ACM ICPC regionals. Interviewed with Directi, but no luck. All the efforts combined landed me at Paytm though.
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In 2018, left my “well-paying job” to do a startup in edtech creator space. Couldn’t pull it beyond building product and onboarding a YouTube creator. Was severely burnt out and out of conviction.
In 2018, left my “well-paying job” to do a startup in edtech creator space. Couldn’t pull it beyond building product and onboarding a YouTube creator. Was severely burnt out and out of conviction.
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Took a break for the first time in life. Started figuring things again. Applied for Zapier, but couldn’t clear the first HR round. Failed at Google & Gojek’s interview. Took a brief break and joined current company.
Took a break for the first time in life. Started figuring things again. Applied for Zapier, but couldn’t clear the first HR round. Failed at Google & Gojek’s interview. Took a brief break and joined current company.
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On top of this, two major tech publications rejected for publishing an article (because of writing style). Tough times. Despite 3 yrs of software engineering experience with high growth startups, felt like a loser as a coder.
On top of this, two major tech publications rejected for publishing an article (because of writing style). Tough times. Despite 3 yrs of software engineering experience with high growth startups, felt like a loser as a coder.
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I always wonder what happened since 9th class. Why am I not winning and just failing and failing?
I always wonder what happened since 9th class. Why am I not winning and just failing and failing?
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I think games till 8th class were limited. If you have to come first in class, study well. For first in school, do nothing negative & just perform well as a student. But since 9th, games weren't limited ...
I think games till 8th class were limited. If you have to come first in class, study well. For first in school, do nothing negative & just perform well as a student. But since 9th, games weren't limited ...
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... Tcsitwiz does not have a coursebook or fixed syllabus. Google’s interview does not have a fixed set of questions.
Also realized that each failure has helped me do something bigger & given a wider perspective ...
... Tcsitwiz does not have a coursebook or fixed syllabus. Google’s interview does not have a fixed set of questions.
Also realized that each failure has helped me do something bigger & given a wider perspective ...
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... Tcsitwiz helped me learn a lot of things about Valley early on, & made my interest in computers stronger. All the interview failures made me realize I love building products more than only optimizing. Startup failures made me a better person and increased perseverance.
... Tcsitwiz helped me learn a lot of things about Valley early on, & made my interest in computers stronger. All the interview failures made me realize I love building products more than only optimizing. Startup failures made me a better person and increased perseverance.
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Despite all this realization, I was resistive in accepting & owning these failures.
2 years ago, I was giving excuses for why certain things happened.
Despite all this realization, I was resistive in accepting & owning these failures.
2 years ago, I was giving excuses for why certain things happened.
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1 year ago, I started accepting these failures and coming at peace with them. Peace that I put my best given the then circumstances, and yes next time, I will try harder and stick for longer.
1 year ago, I started accepting these failures and coming at peace with them. Peace that I put my best given the then circumstances, and yes next time, I will try harder and stick for longer.
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Today, I want to own it completely. Accepting is good, but owning widens your perspective. It helps you understand:
* It takes time to become good/best
* Good things take time
* Failures are bound to happen, but continue moving ahead ...
* You have not given your 100% yet.
Today, I want to own it completely. Accepting is good, but owning widens your perspective. It helps you understand:
* It takes time to become good/best
* Good things take time
* Failures are bound to happen, but continue moving ahead ...
* You have not given your 100% yet.
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A part of me is always resistive of sharing things in public (credits to “what will others say” thoughts). I want to improve that by sharing things in public. This thread is an attempt towards that.
A part of me is always resistive of sharing things in public (credits to “what will others say” thoughts). I want to improve that by sharing things in public. This thread is an attempt towards that.
