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Anyway as I take a break, I have been thinking about something, I wanted to share a few reflections on a race dynamic I am starting to understand better in a short thread. The tension/discomfort/disturbance that comes abt in teams or interpersonally around racial ‘differences’.
Many of us I am sure will recognise this. Where you have staff/students of colour who feel excluded or ill at ease in a particular white space. And they can’t attribute the tension/disturbance to any overt conflict. Nothing seems to have happened & said that created the tension.
But they feel excluded and sometimes actually get genuinely distressed. There are various ways to formulate this, you’ll know for example I write a lot about ‘location of disturbance’, I think what I am saying here is related.
Increasingly I have quite intimate conversations with white people around race, racism and I have heard many share fears and at times fantasies openly with me. The number one fear I can tell you without hesitation is: fear of being called racist. It’s a haunting fear.
The fear ‘of being called racist’ is the fear of being racist. Most white people do not understand what they fear already exists in them. That is why I say often say they simply fear part of themselves & that this parts will be being exposed. You might say fear of being seen.
Ask yourself...how does that play out relationally/dynamically? What effect does it have on the black & brown people. Imagine being in a team as the only person of colour and being surrounded by people who fear being seen, fear being exposed...by extension...fear closeness to you
I have previously explained to managers/leaders avoiding difficult conversations for example with POC for fear of being accused of racism is...racism. It is actually discriminatory and disadvantages people of colour. This we can understand I think more easily.
What I think we struggle...is to accept this fear of being exposed as racist (not only leads to self-fulfilling prophecies) but a profound impact on people of colour & how they experience particular spaces...
So...I think that it makes sense to refer to this as a form of aversive racism. It is a form of covert violence.
Aversive racism as an expression was coined by Kovel, I think...it’s the idea that although white (liberal) folks disown overt racism & consciously oppose prejudicial racial beliefs/stereotypes, fundamentally shift their behaviour when they engage w/ ppl...often out of discomfort
Aversive racism is all about avoidance, I would say. And that is why* what I’m talking abt here, is really this. Fear of being called racist leading to aversive racism. When ppl of colour struggle within particular white spaces, they might struggle to articulate what’s going on.
Always, always take serious distress. Often we discount as it seems ‘nothing happened’. Always take seriously embodied responses and treat this as data to formulate what might be going on and link black & brown ppl’s experiences to white fears/phantasies & vice versa.
Been fortunate to talk to white people who have generously shared their fears...all while talking to people of colour who continually share their distress. You’d have to be a fool to think the two are not related.
So where do we go? I tend to put the onus for change on people with more power here, that would be white groups. I try hard not to judge or be activated by the fantasies that play out in your mind (easier at certain times but on balance, I think I am able to), we are where we are
We may not like where we are...but nonetheless here we are. That means, you need to really connect to those disowned part of yourself & reclaim them so they stop leaking & sabotaging you. They will.
And as long as you refuse to reclaim your racism you will most likely enact racism aversively. This takes us to part of the work Race Reflections does, formulating racial conflicts in teams, offering solutions & support to all parties who want to do better - fin 
