I'm going to let you all in on a fact that disturbs me on some level. I'm one of the only Black folks I know who doesn't have a personal horror story about dealing with the cops. And that's not because I'm special or something or because these aren't common. They fucking are.

No it's because I have put in a mountain of work to ensure it doesn't happen, up to an including there's a lot of things that I just don't do. There are places I don't go, activities I don't engage in and a host of actions I have to consider and think on before doing anything.

Even before the pandemic I was basically a workaholic hermit and am painfully straight laced as well as cognizant of how I present when I'm out in the world. I'm mostly mode locked out of AAVE. I can understand it but it doesn't sound quite right coming out of my mouth.

which I feel causes a different set of problems for me but that's a convo for another time.

And the fact of the matter is that I know, on a deep fundamental level that none of that work actually matters! Cases like Philando Castille prove that time and time again.

There is a kind of grotesque weight to knowing that at any moment, in my car, in my place of business, out shopping or even chilling in my own damn house, so called law enforcement could just end my existence for no damn reason.

We can do everything right, be as non-threatening as possible, speak perfectly and whistle vivaldi and to white America broadly and cops specifically, none of it matters.

So just... the next time you think a Black person is angry unnecessarily or like we're blowing something out of proportion, just think about how you'd deal with the knowledge that at any given moment someone with the right credentials could just end your life and get away with it

without even a second though. That some stranger could barge into your home shoot you in cold blood, and have half the country wonder what you did to deserve it. And don't act like that's far fetched because it's literally happened more than once.

Imagine how you'd feel being a parent having to articulate that reality to a child. Imagine having that specter haunt you literally every moment of your day.

The point of this, which my sleep addled brain failed to put out well in the moment is that I should NOT be one of the few Black folks I know who doesn't have a police horror story, nor should anyone have to go to the lengths I have to make it so.