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Straight acting gay men are NOT in community with us. They actively and consistently make the effort NOT to be in community with queers. Why, do we think they are part of our community. They (like straights) are a danger to us. They could be our future killer.
Since some of you want me to spell it out. They distance themselves from visibly queer people in violent terms. They call us "drama queens", "if I wanted to be with a girl, I'd be with one", "stop trying to be girls", "freak show", "not in the gay scene", "no fems" etc.
They police how we walk, talk, behave, dress etc. They want us to be some idea of a man that I is a patriarchal construct. In queer theory, they greatly suffer from homonormativity. They cannot show compassion for other queers within the community. It's always "me, me" with them.
Most of them throw us under the bus around heteros. They hardly contribute anything that advances the community and take up space in representation of gay men. They erase fem gay men. Seek hetero acceptance at our expense. Other us within the community etc.
They project their internalise self-hate onto us. Their internalised homophobia is lethal. It shows up as verbal abuse, mental abuse & physical abuse.
They like showing the most violent of masculinities. They cry that gays "turn them" or when caught sleeping with visibly gay man "they [gay man] deceived me/lied they are a woman" etc. That either ends with gaybashing or worse, death.
Of course, we are also enablers and seekers of such men because there is a premium for masculinity among gay men. Some fem gay men want "turn" or they actively seek such men. Yet these men distance themselves from gayness/fem gayness. I'm NOT in community with them. I fear them!
