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this is resentment. this is what happens when what you feel towards your parents is RESENTMENT.
discomfort and resentment are not TRAUMA. they are from problems and disagreements, they are from friction and conflict. these are normal, usual, and part of growth and learning. https://twitter.com/Themagicmuir/status/1381440856830308358
discomfort and resentment are not TRAUMA. they are from problems and disagreements, they are from friction and conflict. these are normal, usual, and part of growth and learning. https://twitter.com/Themagicmuir/status/1381440856830308358
"trauma, that's when i was angry and upset about something, right?" no. trauma is the result of injury, harm to your personhood, dehumanisation, injustice, degradation. it does not "melt away" cos that is not how cognition works
trauma is how our brains record existential threat
trauma is how our brains record existential threat
the things we find traumatic are subjective, but let's be honest: they're not THAT subjective.
getting really mad at nonviolent rules you thought were unfair but now that YOU have a kid you understand them? that's not you processing trauma, that's you learning empathy at age 28.
getting really mad at nonviolent rules you thought were unfair but now that YOU have a kid you understand them? that's not you processing trauma, that's you learning empathy at age 28.
i have experienced both of these. there is shit i didn't understand that i forgave my parents for.
there is a lot MORE i gained perspective on, and will never forgive cos i cannot fix it in my mind how people could do that to a child they claim they loved. trauma!
there is a lot MORE i gained perspective on, and will never forgive cos i cannot fix it in my mind how people could do that to a child they claim they loved. trauma!
there's also stuff that i *don't* class as trauma that i experienced but would never want my kid to see as normal.
i don't know how to class "waiting unharmed but bored at age 4 in the van for what seemed like hours while my dad drank at the Seagate Motel", but it is NOT GOOD.
i don't know how to class "waiting unharmed but bored at age 4 in the van for what seemed like hours while my dad drank at the Seagate Motel", but it is NOT GOOD.
it didn't dig into my hindbrain and trigger fight or flight, it was just boring and as an adult i want to go back and kick my dad in the junk for all the times he left me alone to go drinking, knowing that i was already SO conditioned to obey that i wouldn't go anywhere.
my anger is because those situations COULD have become trauma for me so easily, but my anger still isn't TRAUMA.
related: i feel like a lot of neurotypical and allistic people don't understand that when people with cognitive disabilities and mental illness talk about relatively minor inconveniences and upsets being TRAUMA, we're lampshading CPTSD coping mechanisms. https://twitter.com/makokaazo/status/1381672982569832449?s=19
when i talk about being unable to deal with arguing with my mother, i'm not saying arguing with a parent is traumatic.
i'm saying that ANY associations with her are a constant fractal expansion of the existing trauma coping mechanisms.
i'm saying that ANY associations with her are a constant fractal expansion of the existing trauma coping mechanisms.
