welxome to this thread: all the shit incouldnt tweet cuz my phone is on airplan3 mode

oh to slide down the baggage slide

should i begin to crawl on all fours like a crazy turtle to get fit? man. turtles are ripped you just cant see it

airplane has begun to scream. good

love the ecig rules on planes lmao. where the fuck is my skymall

this flight is going to texas and i shouldn't be shocked at the amount of cowboy hats people are wearing in here and yet

damn im sleepin w another human being for the first time since 2019 lmao and i almost damn near kicked him by accident (jerked out of sleep)

man no matter what era im in i always listen to the bands everyone jokes about. can't wait until next decade when people all talk about how mother mother is a formativ3 band and mcr is a golden oldie

the sky is fucking wild yall. how do i know im up here except that they told me i am...

i got a playlist for helping me feel good and every time i listen to it my soul has an experience, man...

lmao looking down and thinking about how i have cat hair that has flown into cali from canada and now im importing cat hair to my buddy's house. hey wassup guys want some cat hair???

i forgot gravity is on here. 0 to 60 tearsville. wolf's rain. man. love that guy

i didn't bring my switch because it would be a pain to be yanking so much shit out of my bag thru security but damn. i could be kicking some ass right now

lmao i can't read and listen to music w words at the same time and i am just so into this playlist yall... having a whole interior journey... while literally on a journey...

what if earth is hell and heaven is the moon. what then

people who don't know me be like yo you wanna smoke a bowl w us? people who know me gake a running leap and go NO

i can't stop thinking about how hot the fusion w steven and his dad is. what the fuck

does turtle skin meld w the shell? i don't have google right now. how far does skin go on a turtle. searching brain. "through the whole middle" WHAT.

at what point does your skin stop and become innard???

man, turtles can never sit like people. not like they want to. they would have to get a job. damn

technically there are lots of employed cats. not just like, you know, bodega cats and barn cats. but cats that are instagram influencers. people be asking mrsnuggles420 his stance on politics and fhe cat be like meow

can people stop being evil? just simultaneously. just knock it off. i get it empathy is hard you're not special. just be nice you little bastards

imagine if we ate jellyfish. how do you even BRUSH your mouth spines. damn.

oh my god leatherback turtles have their shell on the inside and that bothers me. it answers the skin question but FUCK

you ever think about how terrifying it is that we don't know much about the bottom of the ocean?? do you think aliens feel like that??

aliens are SHIT at anesthesia. people be like having traumatic experiences in spaceships because the experience haunts them but meanwhile they put you to sleep on earth to put a camera up your ass and you're done, lickety split.

make sure no one involuntarily sleeps outside.

"but madoc, they're only observing!" fuck you aliens!!! yall see this shit and don't do anything??? jesus mcdonald crisp just be like hey. earth. that's not kind

learning sign language just to talk to people without taking off my headphones. i don't want to speak or hear you. power. learn another language because you can.

GOING DOWN!!!! HEHEHE welcome me back to earth. have some not-tweets.

you know what would be a good job??? working on an image site and typing descriptions for people to use a screen reader on. my descriptions will be at LEAST as funny as this gif, if not funnier.

final fantasy: brotherhood

yall people in texas got some ugly fucking roofs. wow

MCMANSIONS MAN LOOK AT EM THEY JUST SLAPPED THAT SHIT TOGETHER!! LOOKS AWFUL!!!!