Pippin Took and Merry Brandybuck are the PCs in a #dnd campaign whose players can only make it to random sessions every now and then so they choose to be agents of chaos that the rest of the party frantically have to clean up after when they're gone.
You can't change my mind.

Pippin, who has no idea what's going on because the player arrived 1 hour into a session: I touch the fragile-looking skeleton leaning against a well.

Merry, whose player arrived mid-argument: Look, I know your character Gimli is making some good points, but the salted pork here is exceptionally good.

Pippin, who just got sternly told off by the party ranger for doing something stupid: Yeah, well, I ask him about second breakfast.

Merry & Pippin: *fumbling their way through rolls and getting to re-roll because of the lucky ability, allowing them to succeed in their frankly awful plan*

DM, in horrified awe: I- er- well, it seems you've reclaimed the tower of Orthanc, won Isengard back, and killed Saruman.

Merry & Pippin afterwards: Haha, nice, great game. See you all next time!

The rest of the party after nearly being in a TPK trying to rescue them: ........????

The DM: You get your pint, Frodo... Then you see him, the cloaked figure in the corner, shrouded by shadow. He is smoking a pipe and watching you all intensely. What do you do?

Pippin: Yeah, wait a sec, THE BEER COMES IN PINTS???