I am about to arbitrarily rate the state flags of the United States.

My ratings are based solely on how the design makes me feel, and has nothing to do with the actual awesomeness of the state.

Alabama. Gives me an uncomfortable confederate vibe and looks like it's telling me I’m not going to be moving on in America's Got Talent. Looks easy to draw, though
1/10

Alaska. Good use of astronomy. Don't know if that's the big bear or the little bear, but it's one of them.
6/10 for bear vagueness

I'm pretty sure the Arizona flag is just the Captain Marvel logo? But I'm OK with that
10/10

I understand the symbolism in the diamond shape, but any points Arkansas gains from that subtlety, they lose by having ARKANSAS emblazoned right across the middle
2/10

Bear! Not the most iconic California thing, so maybe not the best choice from an advertising stance, but. Bear!
8/10

It just kind of makes me uncomfortable. Is it watching me? It looks more like a baseball team logo than the flag of Colorado.
0/10

I first I thought it was a skull, so it loses points for disappointing me. I don't know Latin, but I am pretty sure the motto says "they who transition, succeed" so the Connecticut flag said trans rights
9/10

This looks like a gay sitcom! Jerry is a farmer and Calvin is a fancy man. Together, they build tiny models of boats and paint portraits of cows. Premiering December 7, 1787, only in Delaware
10/10

So Florida took everything I don't like about Alabama's flag and added a commemorative plate to the center. Not sure how I feel about that
2/10

You know those things where it's like "I gave artificial intelligence some Hallmark cards and asked it to write its own"? The Georgia flag looks like someone tried to teach a machine what the American flag looks like.
5/10, good try

I would never guess this was Hawaii.
3/10, surprising, but so many stripes

Idaho is really afraid you won't know this is the flag of Idaho, so they wrote Idaho on it twice. I really identify with this concern as an autistic person who is constantly misunderstood
8/10

There is a lot going on in Illinois. This eagle has a shield? And this banner is falling on it like the tyrannosaurus at the end of Jurassic Park? And he's sitting on a gravestone? And I think the sun is exploding?
20/10 I want to watch this movie

Things I now believe about Indiana because of this flag:
The Olympic torch lives there
People aren't good at connect the dots
5/10

So the Iowa flag is the French flag with an eagle logo and motto that looks like it came from an old motor oil sign
5/10, not sure how I feel about this

And I will return later for everything beyond Kansas

I was kind of expecting Kansas to just be the Wizard of Oz poster. Instead we have a commemorative plate with some heraldry up top
4/10

Kind of wanted a horse for Kentucky's flag. Got these lesbians instead.
8/10

Louisiana knows what the people want: pelican kaiju
100/10, it even tells us the names of the babies!

The gay couple from the Delaware flag moved to Maine, where they have begun making moose themed versions of those famous unicorn tapestries
20/10

Maryland doesn't give a shit about fitting in. It's a coat of arms made into a rectangle and it wants you to know about it
10/10 you do you, Maryland

Not gonna lie, kind of thought the flag of Massachusetts had a pilgrim hat on it because of the Massachusetts Turnpike signs on the highway.
Also what is with the disembodied pirate arm
6/10

Michigan going all out with the Latin. And two different Woodland Ungulates?
10/10

Not sure what's going on with this Minnesota commemorative plate, but I think the stars surrounding it are supposed to represent electrons?
4/10, very confusing

Mississippi also has the captain marvel logo, but more subtle. Also I think it's implying that flower is God?
7/10

Missouri gets 10 points for every bear on the flag, also I had no idea there were so many bears in Missouri
30/10

Montana gets an award for best use of MS Paint in flag design.
8/10, I like the commemorative plate

Say what you will about the people who designed the flag of Nebraska, but they sure did use only two colors and included a Greek God for some reason I think?
5/10

There's a lot of negative space in Nevada's flag, but maybe that is supposed to symbolize the large stretches of desert?
3/10

Getting kind of bored of Blue flags, but that's not New Hampshire's fault
5/10 because I'm pretending that gray rock is a manatee going on a vacation in New England

New Jersey gets 10 points per ancient Greek cosplay lesbian, 10 points for telling us their names, and 10 points per horse (although it's only like 1/10 of a horse)
31/10

New Mexico's flag probably features something important to the indigenous people of the area, but it also looks like a bunch of hands. I like that
8/10

New York gets points for not mentioning the city, for the sapphic supporters, and because I think that's boat jousting?
40/10

North Carolina’s flag looks like the flag version of a book report you did at the last minute without reading the book. It's got all the features and colors of the American flag, but also has initials and important dates. But it lacks symbolism. And by symbolism I mean bears
1/10

I think North Dakota has the same eagle from the Illinois flag, and I like him so I'm happy to see him again
9/10

Ohio just had to be different, didn't they? They've got spunk, I like it
7/10

I know nothing about the play Oklahoma, so I'm assuming this is the main character of Oklahoma
4/10, very strange play

Best use of the Oregon Trail video game in a flag
10/10

Oh shit, Oregon has a design on the back of the flag as well? I love it. It is so ridiculous and simple and. It's just a giant beaver. Thank you for this, Oregon
/10

I am choosing to believe Virtue, Liberty, And Independence are the names of the horses and the bald eagle they adopted. I don't know what this has to do with Pennsylvania, but I don't care
30/10

Rhode Island has an anchor named Hope on its flag. That is how I am choosing to interpret this flag
10/10

South Carolina’s flag just feels ominous. What is the moon doing, and is the tree in on it?
6/10

I know I'm kind of tired of blue flags, but South Dakota has a nice Cerulean. The words look a little crooked to me but I'm sure that's just me
5/10 (loses points for being proud of the desecration of the six grandfathers)

Is this just the Tennessee Titans football logo? I don't know that much about the Tennessee Titans, so I'm gonna go with yes
3/10 I like the random lil stripes on the side

I always think the Texas flag is Puerto Rico for some reason
4/10, it's confusing

If not for the beehive and the word Utah, I would be very sure this was the flag of Washington DC or something
7/10 yay bees

I can't tell if the motto is "Freedom, Vermont, and unity" or "Vermont: freedom and unity" either way, I feel like the coat of arms is missing some gay supporters and the cow looks lonely
2/10

Y’all. The flag of Virginia just has a whole damn murder scene on it.
/10

A little predictable, Washington. We all knew you were going to go with George. Why not surprise us. Try Kerry Washington next time
0/10

West Virginia seems like it went extra wide just to differentiate it self from Classic Virginia. And I don't know who those guys are, but I'm pretty sure they're married
10/10

I forgot the image for Washington

I feel like they could have gotten rid of the 96 point font and made the gays and their pet beaver more prominent
6/10

By the way, in case it isn’t obvious, every time a flag features a coat of arms with two supporters, I’m just assuming they are gay

Everything about Wyoming's flag FEELS off center but I think it's just an optical illusion
2/10

I did not know the district of Columbia had a flag. I also didn't know it would kind of remind me of like… a napkin at a fast food place?
6/10, that's not necessarily a bad thing

Holy shit, American Samoa has a badass frickin eagle
50/10

Guam’s flag looks like I'm seeing through a portal to a lovely beachside location
9/10

The Northern Mariana Islands had a very nice flag and then someone mucked around and put a random star clipart in the middle
7/10

Puerto Rico is another one of those "remixing the basic elements of the American flag" flags, but it's got that pointy bit and I like that
6/10

The eagle on the flag of the US Virgin Islands just looks very over this whole photo shoot
4/10

And I believe that's it! Later or tomorrow or sometime, I will do the Canadian provinces!