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idk like this convo isnt about us but it does go into a lot of how ive been feeling like any small bit of connection i do have with my culture is seen as a ""mockery""
like i want to try but how do i even do that lmao it doesnt fit i went to visit my family in india and they literally told me i was an outsider lmao and here english ppl only want to talk to me about curry or bollywood like what connection do i have?
this is sending me down such a weird identity crisis lmao
i hate my name. i hate it so much but how much of that is bc ive grown up hearing it being mangled and made fun of by ppl who don't know how to say it? and what does that say about my identity? like is part of me still ashamed??? idk 
