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My wife, Courtney, should’ve turned 40 today, but she died giving birth in 2018 to our 2nd child, Bobby. I’ve tweeted this every year since, but the problem remains: Maternal mortality rates in the U.S. are among the worst in the developed world. http://tinyurl.com/3jx7zbhs THREAD
But today I want to get off my soapbox and put Courtney on a pedestal instead. I could easily just focus on what an incredible mother she was to our daughter Darby (the art lessons, the elaborate birthday parties, the patience/encouragement), but she was so much more than that...
Courtney was truly gifted at many things. When we met, she was an actress who moonlighted as a kindergarten teacher; the kind kids would come back to visit years later. By the time we got married, she had gone back to school for graphic design and finished first in her class...
After graduation, she worked for Hulu and NBC, designing some of their most effective social media campaigns. She didn’t love to toot her own horn, but nothing me prouder than when actors would share her designs. I also got to benefit. This was our Save the Date card...
We bonded on our first date over a love of Mad Men, so our wedding had a 60s advertising theme, combing her love of design with my past life as a copywriter. Here we are trying to recreate the last scene from The Graduate, but I was too happy. (She was the better actor!)...
It wasn’t until later that we started to write together. I had an idea for a screenplay and thought it would be fun to ask her to help. Little did I know how talented she was at that, too, and the process was easily the most fun I’ve ever had professionally...
But what I loved most about C was that she loved to play. When we met, I had gotten too inside my own head and lost that side of myself. Her greatest gift (besides 2 beautiful kids) was getting me to enjoy life again; even if it meant getting my ass smoked at Trivial Pursuit....
I won’t sugarcoat it: These past 3 years have been brutal. But there have been some bright spots. Putting aside the unfortunate circumstances, I’ve met some new wonderful new friends in widow support groups (Go Grieving Class of 2018!)...
I’ve seen generous acts of kindness from my family. People don’t know what to say in the wake of tragedy; many pretend it never happened. I get it, but few things make me happier than when our friends Keith and Emily text me unprompted with some fun memory of Courtney...
You can’t replace a beautiful presence and powerful life force like Courtney. There are many bad days, and even the best ones are lacking. But I like to think she’s proud of where we are. I mean, look at these two nuts...
And today, when Darby’s beatboxing Happy Birthday and Bobby’s screaming because he wants to sing Baby Shark instead, Courtney will be there, laughing at the crazy, and reminding me about the time she destroyed me at Trivial Pursuit. We love you, honey, and miss you so very much.
