Somethings told to me by male pastors: a

“You know they all think your crazy, right? You look unhinged.
I understand why you keep trying to get a place at the table but they think you are unstable.” ... this was because I was a pastor and asked to attend the pastor meeting 1/

After having to watch a video from a Promise Keepers conference that was so denigrating and disrespectful to women in a staff meeting, the guys decided to kid with me: “We know what we are getting Lisa for her birthday! A set of sermons on video from that guy! She loved it!” 2/

When I said calmly that I actually was hurt and angry with what I had just had to sit thru, I was told, “Oh calm down! Hey Guys, she’s getting all feminist on us again.” 3/

“You need to stop reaching for higher levels of leadership. Your faith is immature and adolescent. They will never let you be a leader until you can show you are mature.” 4/

“Why would you hire Lisa? She is always screwing up and making mistakes. She is the only one who is always apologizing. That should tell you how immature she is.” 5/

When I was hired for a role and not my male co-worker— all of us were pastors— he and the rest of our team trashed my office. And when challenged by admin assistant to clean it up, they said, “No. She’s a woman. She does the cleaning.” 6/

“Women ordination? Really? Why not focus on real issues of injustice. This doesn’t matter.” 6/

When I publicly, respectfully during a Q&A in our AGM, challenged our leadership about why we say we are affirming of women leaders but have abysmally small #s , I was told by someone — 7/

“You didn’t do yourself any favours there. It is very unfortunate you need to make a spectacle of yourself.” For asking a legitimate question at an AGM, during the Q&A. 8/

For an annual budget meeting for members, we had to submit questions ahead of the Zoom meeting ( online bc of COVID). I was the only one who submitted questions. They were pointed questions that I as a member, wanted answered... 9/

I received an email back from the Executive Pastor saying he would not be reading out or addressing any of my questions as they weren’t relevant to a budget meeting. And then a successful business man asked all of the same questions live in the meeting. 10/

I was rebuked for someone else referring to me as a pastor... and I didn’t correct them. “You aren’t a pastor. I think you should be clear with people.” This was the first time I realized they didn’t see me as a pastor— even though I was leading the whole youth dep. 11/

These are just a few examples. And i am sad how, at the time, I believed what they were saying of me was true. The misogny in the church is subtle, gaslighting and confusing— you hardly know you have been stabbed until you see you’re hemorrhaging hope and self worth.