This is probably disgusting and weird but I emptied and reloaded my dishwasher for the first time since I found out one of my best friends died last week and I could cry. It’s so silly but I genuinely feel like I just ran a marathon.

Shitposting will resume shortly, sorry. All the small things feel so hard and pointless. I keep picking up my phone to text or call Jim and then it hits me and I need to lie down for 40 mins.

If any of my friends were going thru this I’d tell them to go easy and be kind to themselves but I am programmed to want to kick my own ass for not being strong all the time? Anyway I know a lot of you are grieving currently and I just wanna say it’s ok to be a mess sometimes x

I didn’t expect so many sweet messages and likes for this and it feels kinda selfish in a way? I want to like Jim-post a lot bc he was an incredible & brilliant person and he should be remembered forever but I’m not rly ready. Thank you to everyone who has been so kind

And thank you to everyone who has phrased very kind and caring things my brain hasn’t been able to manufacture at the moment. It’s hard to talk to yourself like a friend sometimes and I appreciate it more than you know

I’ll end this thread w a vid Jim sent me of his baby and best friend Spencer