This is probably disgusting and weird but I emptied and reloaded my dishwasher for the first time since I found out one of my best friends died last week and I could cry. It’s so silly but I genuinely feel like I just ran a marathon.

Shitposting will resume shortly, sorry. All the small things feel so hard and pointless. I keep picking up my phone to text or call Jim and then it hits me and I need to lie down for 40 mins.

If any of my friends were going thru this I’d tell them to go easy and be kind to themselves but I am programmed to want to kick my own ass for not being strong all the time? Anyway I know a lot of you are grieving currently and I just wanna say it’s ok to be a mess sometimes x

I didn’t expect so many sweet messages and likes for this and it feels kinda selfish in a way? I want to like Jim-post a lot bc he was an incredible & brilliant person and he should be remembered forever but I’m not rly ready. Thank you to everyone who has been so kind https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz">

And thank you to everyone who has phrased very kind and caring things my brain hasn’t been able to manufacture at the moment. It’s hard to talk to yourself like a friend sometimes and I appreciate it more than you know https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz">

I’ll end this thread w a vid Jim sent me of his baby and best friend Spencer https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">