Being a stan is fundamentally problematic. There is much more to appreciating art (or public figures) than a binary between deification and evil. If I have learned anything from doing @Bullseye for twenty years, it's that all people are people, including great artists.

I've also mostly learned that my favorite artists are generally good and interesting people, don't get me wrong. I love to support my favorite art and I'm a fan, too. But it feels to me like idol-worship is just a setup for a takedown.

There have been times in my career that I've learned something about someone I had liked and admired (say LCK) that caused me to really rethink their role in my life, and has poisoned their art for me. Sometimes people do truly awful, toxic things that ruin their art.

Mostly, though, I've learned about what I don't know. I don't really know the heart of anyone but the closest people in my life. And basically everyone is doing their best and failing to varying degrees. If your identity is tied up in another human, you are asking for trouble.

Sometimes people ask me if it is disappointing meeting my heroes, which I do once or twice a week making Bullseye. And the truth is that it almost never is. Because I do not expect them to be something other than an interesting human who makes interesting art.

I hope this doesn't read as one of those anti-cancelling screeds, because I am the furthest thing from that. Toxic behavior is toxic and needs to be called out and have consequences to protect people who could be victimized by it. Even indirectly.

But artists are artists, they are not you. They will make choices that aren't the choices you'd make. They'll try to do something and fail. I mean I named one of my kids after Curtis Mayfield, and his disco album stinks. You can love their work, but know that they are human.

When I say the binary is a setup, I mean it is as much a setup for you as for the artist. You are setting yourself up if you imagine that your favorite creator is something more perfect and special than you, rather than another person doing their best.

It also means, I think, that imperfect artists who have high morals and goals become perfect in their fans eyes, and when they fail even in a small way (as we all do sometimes) it is then impossible to process that. Whereas jerks acting like jerks get a pass.

That can drive the folks who really do care out of public life, even if they have a lot to contribute. Meanwhile folks whose brand is being a rascally asshole flourish. And we all lose.

Again: this is not about people being cancelled for actual toxic behavior. And I understand that stan culture is most powerful among those who are forming identities and those who are prevented by our culture from having agency. Those are things that need addressing.

But while I am no Eminem stan, remember that Stan from Stan has his identity broken and ends up a murderer.

Also this isn't an essay I prepared, just something I was thinking about in the shower, so I hope you'll understand that it is a draft of a draft and that I am very human and might be wrong, too.

And I don’t have a SoundCloud but listen to @FANTIPodcast for much smarter and more nuanced perspectives on this issue