Something I’ve learned that will save you a lot of time & energy when dating (especially if you tend to date unavailable people), is make it a priority to tell people very early on how you prefer to give/receive love & ask them the same.

A thread:

Most times we go into things too casually or go with the flow from jump but this might set you up down the road if you don’t have a clear vision of what you’re looking for or how you want to be loved. You can still go with the flow but in what direction are we going?

Usually if you ask someone what they’re looking for and they say “I don’t know” or “I’m just seeing where things go” that’s a red flag that people take as a challenge. It’s not your job to change people’s minds or be what they’re looking for. It won’t end well.

Be assertive. If you’re looking for a relationship and someone else isn’t, that’s your cue to step back, not proceed. When you move forward even if you and someone else aren’t on the same page, you’re ultimately comprising your needs for someone else’s.

You always have a choice in the matter. Dismissing early red flags is how the cycle of being with emotionally unavailable people continues. It takes time to be able to identify what red flags actually look like.

But here are some phrases to lookout for before moving forward:

“I’m not sure what I want”
“I’m not ready for a relationship”
“ I can’t give you what you need”
“I’m not the right person for you”

Or anything in regards to them still having ties with an ex or unfinished business.

People usually tell you what they can and can’t do, and it’s up to you to believe them. Even if people say they can do something and their actions don’t show it, that’s also a red flag. Address it and speak up about it. If it doesn’t change, that’s your sign to walk away.

As you heal your inner child wounds, build up your self esteem & you release a scarcity mindset when it comes to the type of love you can attract, you’ll be less scared to let people go who aren’t the right fit for you. This takes time but with awareness, you’ll get there.