People who do not know much about autism, often make the mistake of assuming being autistic does not affect me very much. They are wrong but informing is more important than judging. So I'm going to try and share more of my personal experiences on Twitter. Today's insight... 1/10

Masking is very common in autistic people, particularly in girls. This is partly what leads to the above misconception... I have years of experience at pretending to be "other" but it is exhausting and often leads to shutdowns behind closed doors... 2/10

For example, I've just had the Easter holidays (I'm a teacher). It has taken me until the Thursday of the second week to recover from a term of masking and actually experience a level of anxiety which is low enough to enable me to do basic chores like cooking and laundry... 3/10

That's 10 days to recover from the demands of everyday life and the extra burden of masking (and I only work 4 days a week) so usually have three days mini break every 7... That's 10 days to fully recover from a 5 week term of which I worked 22 days out of 35... 4/10

Today the anxiety level is rising again as I return to work tomorrow. I LOVE my job (it is definitely a special interest) but the day-day demands are still tough , despite the incredible support network I have at school. So, today, every day tasks are becoming tough again... 5/10

To counterbalance this anxiety, I have spent the last two hours plotting golf goals (another special interest!) The laundry piles up and I *think* we need a food shop but today these tasks will be too much... 6/10

And in the great irony that is being autistic and a perfectionist, I will inevitably feel great guilt and personal judgement because this is just not what I envisaged being an adult looked like... (Even though I know this is exactly what I need to stay well)...7/10

This will inevitably lead to more anxiety and the need for higher levels of masking which will lead to more exhaustion and the cycle will continue until the next holiday... 8/10

To be clear this is not a sympathy post. I have a great life and there are lots of people worse off than me, BUT please don't presume because you can't tell someone is autistic that behind closed doors, their life mimics yours too... 9/10

Being autistic is both my strength and my weakness. However, we need to get better as a society at working with people in the way that best benefits their mental health and wellbeing. I am lucky to have such good support but not everyone does. #ActuallyAutistic #IDAutistic

@jo3grace #doilookautisticyet