[Judgement Day]

Angel: Parapapapaparraara

*Everybody starts running*

[THREAD]

*random person to me*

"Boss, I hear trumpet and everybody just begin run. where una dey run go?

Me: shey I look like person wey know where we dey go? Me sef dey japa ni o."

*keeps running*

[Voice comes on]

*SILENCE!!*

*Everyone lines up*

*Angels start flying around*

Voice: Today is judgement day. Today, we separate the wheat from the chaff.

*me to random person*

"Sister, abeg which one be wheat and chaff"

Sister: e be like say na wheat dey go heaven, chaff dey go hell

Me: So na today dem won do everything? But nobody tell us nah. Wahala.

Voice: If you have more than 5K followers on Twitter, form a straight line on the left!

Me: *runs to the left*

*scratches head and looks around*

"Wetin dey happen gan gan laidis?"

Voice: The line on the right should follow Angel Gabriel. The line on the left? Follow that...

*lucifer laughs*

Me: Err wait o. Eledumare, this is not it rara. How can you not let us enter heaven cos of Twitter? Ha no o

"Boya you should pack violence Twitter and send them away. Abi those that normally swear for people. I won't gree rara.

*tries to sneak to the line on the right*

Angel: Stop! Where are you going?!

Me: I have less than 5k followers oga mi. I missed road ni.

Angel: what is your Twitter handle.

*gives back up account with 102 followers*

Angel: you are good to go to heaven. *points* here is your guardian Angel.

Guardian Angel: We all need to be in the chapel.

*Floats in the air*

Me: I am really hungry bayi o. Shey they will sha give us food in the chapel?

*Twitter users at the gate spots me*

User 1: Wait! No be Etubo be that? How him dey go heaven? Etuboooooo!

User 2: Who be Etubo?

User 3: Baba Amiyah nah. Omo! Na him na him! He wear Amiyah bonnet.

User 2: Na trueee! Na him! Baba na him!!!

*Throways face and follows angel*

Twitter Users: *Screams* Ha Etubooo. Angel!! He's an imposter! Angel!! He is a fraud!! Angel!!

Me: *holds angels hands, and waves*

Twitter Users:

*gets the chapel*

*music playing silent night, tells angel to change it to Ayefele*

*Ayefele comes in*

*scatters everywhere with legwork*

Angels:

[First morning in heaven]

*opens eyes and already dressed in white*

Angel: It is time for breakfast.

Me: What are we having for breakfast?

Angel: Anything you want.

Me: I want Amala, ewedu and goat meat. That goat meat should be soft please.

*food appears*

Voice: Everyone report to chapel right now!

*Me to guardian angel*

"What is happening gan gan?"

Angel: We have a problem at the gate. The outsiders say there is an imposter in heaven.

Me: problem? You people cannot beat them? So what is now going to happen?

*flies to chapel*

Voice: Silence! We have received a report we have an imposter amongst us! Step forward now!

*Me to Guadian Angel*

"So if they catch this person what will happen?"

Angel: That is an eternal problem. Not sure yet.

Me

Voice: We have few outsiders who are here to identify the imposter. This is your last chance!!!

*Me to Guadian Angel*

"Excuse me, boya we should japa, because me I want to goan finish my goat meat"

*Guadian angel ignores me*

Voice to Angels: Let them in, so they can identify the fraud.

*doors open*
* Twitter user 1 and 2 both entered chapel like*

Me:

User 1: E go don disguise. Dey check their head. He suppose wear shower cap.

User 2: omo, I no see am o. We no go comot till we see am.

Voice : bring in more outsiders. This fraud must be found.

Me:

[20 more twitter users join the search]

*them dragging me out of heaven 2 mins later*