Read on Twitter
[Judgement Day]
Angel: Parapapapaparraara
*Everybody starts running*
[THREAD]
Angel: Parapapapaparraara
*Everybody starts running*
[THREAD]
*random person to me*
"Boss, I hear trumpet and everybody just begin run. where una dey run go?
Me: shey I look like person wey know where we dey go? Me sef dey japa ni o."
*keeps running*
"Boss, I hear trumpet and everybody just begin run. where una dey run go?
Me: shey I look like person wey know where we dey go? Me sef dey japa ni o."
*keeps running*
[Voice comes on]
*SILENCE!!*
*Everyone lines up*
*Angels start flying around*
Voice: Today is judgement day. Today, we separate the wheat from the chaff.
*SILENCE!!*
*Everyone lines up*
*Angels start flying around*
Voice: Today is judgement day. Today, we separate the wheat from the chaff.
*me to random person*
"Sister, abeg which one be wheat and chaff"
Sister: e be like say na wheat dey go heaven, chaff dey go hell
Me: So na today dem won do everything? But nobody tell us nah. Wahala.
"Sister, abeg which one be wheat and chaff"
Sister: e be like say na wheat dey go heaven, chaff dey go hell
Me: So na today dem won do everything? But nobody tell us nah. Wahala.
Voice: If you have more than 5K followers on Twitter, form a straight line on the left!
Me: *runs to the left*
*scratches head and looks around*
"Wetin dey happen gan gan laidis?"
Me: *runs to the left*
*scratches head and looks around*
"Wetin dey happen gan gan laidis?"
Voice: The line on the right should follow Angel Gabriel. The line on the left? Follow that...
*lucifer laughs*
Me: Err wait o. Eledumare, this is not it rara. How can you not let us enter heaven cos of Twitter? Ha no o
*lucifer laughs*
Me: Err wait o. Eledumare, this is not it rara. How can you not let us enter heaven cos of Twitter? Ha no o
"Boya you should pack violence Twitter and send them away. Abi those that normally swear for people. I won't gree rara.
*tries to sneak to the line on the right*
Angel: Stop! Where are you going?!
*tries to sneak to the line on the right*
Angel: Stop! Where are you going?!
Me: I have less than 5k followers oga mi. I missed road ni.
Angel: what is your Twitter handle.
*gives back up account with 102 followers*
Angel: you are good to go to heaven. *points* here is your guardian Angel.
Angel: what is your Twitter handle.
*gives back up account with 102 followers*
Angel: you are good to go to heaven. *points* here is your guardian Angel.
Guardian Angel: We all need to be in the chapel.
*Floats in the air*
Me: I am really hungry bayi o. Shey they will sha give us food in the chapel?
*Twitter users at the gate spots me*
*Floats in the air*
Me: I am really hungry bayi o. Shey they will sha give us food in the chapel?
*Twitter users at the gate spots me*
User 1: Wait! No be Etubo be that? How him dey go heaven? Etuboooooo!
User 2: Who be Etubo?
User 3: Baba Amiyah nah. Omo! Na him na him! He wear Amiyah bonnet.
User 2: Na trueee! Na him! Baba na him!!!
User 2: Who be Etubo?
User 3: Baba Amiyah nah. Omo! Na him na him! He wear Amiyah bonnet.
User 2: Na trueee! Na him! Baba na him!!!
*Throways face and follows angel*
Twitter Users: *Screams* Ha Etubooo. Angel!! He's an imposter! Angel!! He is a fraud!! Angel!!
Me: *holds angels hands, and waves*
Twitter Users:
Twitter Users: *Screams* Ha Etubooo. Angel!! He's an imposter! Angel!! He is a fraud!! Angel!!
Me: *holds angels hands, and waves*
Twitter Users:
*gets the chapel*
*music playing silent night, tells angel to change it to Ayefele*
*Ayefele comes in*
*scatters everywhere with legwork*
Angels:
*music playing silent night, tells angel to change it to Ayefele*
*Ayefele comes in*
*scatters everywhere with legwork*
Angels:
[First morning in heaven]
*opens eyes and already dressed in white*
Angel: It is time for breakfast.
Me: What are we having for breakfast?
Angel: Anything you want.
Me: I want Amala, ewedu and goat meat. That goat meat should be soft please.
*food appears*
![[First morning in heaven] *opens eyes and already dressed in white* Angel: It is time for breakfast. Me: What are we having for breakfast? Angel: Anything you want. Me: I want Amala, ewedu and goat meat. That goat meat should be soft please. *food appears*](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eyq_8-0XEAAKRwH.jpg "[First morning in heaven] *opens eyes and already dressed in white* Angel: It is time for breakfast. Me: What are we having for breakfast? Angel: Anything you want. Me: I want Amala, ewedu and goat meat. That goat meat should be soft please. *food appears*")
*opens eyes and already dressed in white*
Angel: It is time for breakfast.
Me: What are we having for breakfast?
Angel: Anything you want.
Me: I want Amala, ewedu and goat meat. That goat meat should be soft please.
*food appears*
Voice: Everyone report to chapel right now!
*Me to guardian angel*
"What is happening gan gan?"
Angel: We have a problem at the gate. The outsiders say there is an imposter in heaven.
Me: problem? You people cannot beat them? So what is now going to happen?
*Me to guardian angel*
"What is happening gan gan?"
Angel: We have a problem at the gate. The outsiders say there is an imposter in heaven.
Me: problem? You people cannot beat them? So what is now going to happen?
*flies to chapel*
Voice: Silence! We have received a report we have an imposter amongst us! Step forward now!
*Me to Guadian Angel*
"So if they catch this person what will happen?"
Angel: That is an eternal problem. Not sure yet.
Me
Voice: Silence! We have received a report we have an imposter amongst us! Step forward now!
*Me to Guadian Angel*
"So if they catch this person what will happen?"
Angel: That is an eternal problem. Not sure yet.
Me
Voice: We have few outsiders who are here to identify the imposter. This is your last chance!!!
*Me to Guadian Angel*
"Excuse me, boya we should japa, because me I want to goan finish my goat meat"
*Guadian angel ignores me*
*Me to Guadian Angel*
"Excuse me, boya we should japa, because me I want to goan finish my goat meat"
*Guadian angel ignores me*
Voice to Angels: Let them in, so they can identify the fraud.
*doors open*
* Twitter user 1 and 2 both entered chapel like*
*doors open*
* Twitter user 1 and 2 both entered chapel like*
Me:
User 1: E go don disguise. Dey check their head. He suppose wear shower cap.
User 2: omo, I no see am o. We no go comot till we see am.
Voice : bring in more outsiders. This fraud must be found.
Me:
User 2: omo, I no see am o. We no go comot till we see am.
Voice : bring in more outsiders. This fraud must be found.
Me:
[20 more twitter users join the search]
*them dragging me out of heaven 2 mins later*
*them dragging me out of heaven 2 mins later*
