TW // ED
I'm not really sure what the point of me sharing my own history with anorexia is, other than to maybe contribute to normalising talking about eating disorders.
I don't even know where to start.
I'm not really sure what the point of me sharing my own history with anorexia is, other than to maybe contribute to normalising talking about eating disorders.
I don't even know where to start.
TW // ED
I grew up as an undiagnosed autist, and I think that played a large role.
Years of bullying and rejection from almost everyone I knew (& quite a few I didn't) at school left me suffering from depression, which I self-medicated with food.
I grew up as an undiagnosed autist, and I think that played a large role.
Years of bullying and rejection from almost everyone I knew (& quite a few I didn't) at school left me suffering from depression, which I self-medicated with food.
TW // ED
P.E. wasn't fun due to the bullying. I've also always had problems overcoming inertia - it's really hard for me to go from being inactive to active - which people (including myself) attributed to laziness.
As a result I was somewhat overweight by the time I reached 18
P.E. wasn't fun due to the bullying. I've also always had problems overcoming inertia - it's really hard for me to go from being inactive to active - which people (including myself) attributed to laziness.
As a result I was somewhat overweight by the time I reached 18
TW // ED, fatphobia
I found my weight had become another thing depressing me, but realised it was something I had control over, unlike so much else in my life at that time.
So I started dieting and exercising.
It began "innocently" enough, but over time spiralled into anorexia
I found my weight had become another thing depressing me, but realised it was something I had control over, unlike so much else in my life at that time.
So I started dieting and exercising.
It began "innocently" enough, but over time spiralled into anorexia
TW // ED, Fatphobia
I feel it would be more harmful than helpful to go into detail about exactly what I did back then, so I'll leave it out.
Anyway, as I continued to lose weight I received more & more validation from others, which is like a drug to undiagnosed autists.
I feel it would be more harmful than helpful to go into detail about exactly what I did back then, so I'll leave it out.
Anyway, as I continued to lose weight I received more & more validation from others, which is like a drug to undiagnosed autists.
TW // ED, alcohol
What eventually "saved" me was developing a dependency on alcohol when I went to uni, still undiagnosed.
It sounds like an offensive attempt at a joke, but the only way I could cope with being in a new place with new people was to drunk as much as possible
What eventually "saved" me was developing a dependency on alcohol when I went to uni, still undiagnosed.
It sounds like an offensive attempt at a joke, but the only way I could cope with being in a new place with new people was to drunk as much as possible
TW // ED, alcohol, drugs
Being drunk most of the time, as well as getting the munchies when smoking weed with my new friends, freed me from my anorexia, & I honestly have no idea how things could have turned out if it hadn't.
Being drunk most of the time, as well as getting the munchies when smoking weed with my new friends, freed me from my anorexia, & I honestly have no idea how things could have turned out if it hadn't.
TW // ED
I still occasionally have to fight urges to punish myself by withholding food. It's hard & probably something that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
But I consider myself lucky, because I did come back from it.
Not everyone gets to.
I still occasionally have to fight urges to punish myself by withholding food. It's hard & probably something that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
But I consider myself lucky, because I did come back from it.
Not everyone gets to.
TW // ED, fatphobia
I guess that the point of this thread is that fatphobia, both within institutions & in society, is a killer, & we need to talk about it much more than we currently do.
Eating disorders are mental illnesses that are both triggered by & validated by fatphobia.
I guess that the point of this thread is that fatphobia, both within institutions & in society, is a killer, & we need to talk about it much more than we currently do.
Eating disorders are mental illnesses that are both triggered by & validated by fatphobia.