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In relation to a discussion below, I have decided to show a letter I wrote with responses to a letter received from Prince Mark. I received this after telling him my whole life story of abuse & anxiety with my employer (of which he is spiritual head) and asking for help.
I was seriously full of hope when I wrote this. I said to Sr Angela that I had a good idea about saving my future and getting back into (Catholic school) teaching. I wanted to hand it to him personally but she told me he said to put it in writing and send it to him, which I did.
I waited, waited, & became seriously anxious because the time for getting a job was passing. No reply. I write another letter. Eventually, a reply. I was a practising Catholic at this time. I organised the music & newsletter for my little local parish. I was crawling my way back.
I really believed that given Pr. Mark's speeches about seeing victims faces etc, that he was going to be serious about helping me reestablish my future and that of my family. To my genuine pain and serious surprise, I was so sadly and seriously devastated instead.
I really believed they/he would help me ease back into teaching, perhaps find me some part-time work at first and at a good school so I could rebuild my strength. The thing was Cath Ed had for some reason barred me from ever teaching in Cath Ed again. That really hurt .....
... but I seriously believed that Archbishop Mark, being an 'obvious' man of God and 'obviously' wanting to help victims, be able to talk with Cath Ed and ask them to change that phase which said cruelly I could never work with them again: I mean why not? Instead, I saw backstage
When I asked, no begged to meet with him as I have been now for around 10 years) there was nothing but silence. I was now being more abused by his 'response' than by my abusers, or so it felt. Why? because he represented my whole faith/church, and it rejected me.
Now for the one or two who may have read this far, and while comparison is futile, I will never the less say, this is mild compared to what I have since researched into church responses to abuse victims, people reporting adult abuse etc. But, I had to survive.
So I needed to take on a whole new path. Thank God a radical feminist academic allowed me to get involved in her research and from there I got back into my own and here I am. But, in order to be able to do this, I needed money. So I went back to my main/last abuser's order.
They had already helped me financially (through Towards Healing) and this lasted a few years. But now I was broke again and anxiety-filled every pore. They reluctantly helped and eventually said, do not ever come back. That hurt but made me realise their true 'spirit'.
Again, that ran out and I went to the order of my first abuser when I was very young. The Capuchin provincial was very kind and realised what was at stake and wanted to help and did so freely. I was now able to complete my degree and I am grateful for this last assistance.
The reason I am saying all this is I now know that Prince Mark has often discussed all these events with my first abuser's order and I am quite sure they have come to the conclusion that I am in it for the money, that I am going to come back and ask for more and more .....
... and, even worse, based on the many angry emails I wrote to him after his rejection of me and my family, I could now be written off as an unstable person. And that's where it's all at. The invitation to meet with him is still open so I can tell him all this, give my side, but
Thank you Gladys for listening. Now, it's back to work.
(If you want to know about Gladys, ask Phillip Adams).
(If you want to know about Gladys, ask Phillip Adams).
This thread will be deleted in a day or two probably, if not earlier. Don't want people thinking I'm nuts. And I will put on the gentle, 'together' academic persona again. Nah, who am I kidding? You (Gladys that is) wonder why I am a committed devil's advocate????
But, guess what, Gladys, I am actually the happiest I have ever been, the most settled, the most alert, but I also know that, than to abuse by both individuals and institutions, I still have clay feet and a fragile heart. But that's OK.
