me: so I know you barely know them but from what you know name the defining trait of all the robins
cait: okay!

cait: damian wayne...ANNOYING AS FUCK! ipad kid
cait: tim drake. he would be so excited to hold my drink at a party, he'd be like, hell yeah, I'll protect this so hard, and then he'd forget and drink it.

cait: and I also think dick would do this, but I think he'd get me a new one, and I don't think tim would. that's the difference between eldest child vs middle child.
me: alright, jason. go.
cait: I would come out to him and he would just like, deadpan stare at me.

cait: I think that's an important characteristic he has. I think if I asked him where he got his cropped motorcycle jacket, he'd stab me. and I'd deserve it. he's annoying like an ipad child, but different.

cait: also I think if damian had a little kiddie bike he'd put wet cement in the tires.
me: alright, let's do dick
me:
me: not like that

cait: I think that dick would buy me peter pevensie merch.
me: why would you do this to me
cait: HE'S TRYING!

cait: if I said I really wanted to go see a broadway musical, he'd take me.
cait: DICK GRAYSON WOULD NOT BUY ME 10 DOLLAR PEARLS

cait: I think if dick heard you say you were going to kill me, he'd instantly defend me.
cait: I think that he would watch riverdale.
me:
cait: for choni and choni only.

cait: you really said defining characteristics and I'm like here's headcanons of if I was friends with him

cait: he would definitely buy me funko pops.
cait: he'd let me infodump to him and then fall asleep

cait: tim drake hasn't slept in four days.
cait: I'd crochet a blanket for tim and I'd tell him it's a mood blanket I made based on his moods and he'd be like "that's disgusting" and then sleep with that blanket every single night

cait: I think I'd make damian a hat and he'd instantly throw it away
cait: and dick and alfred would get mad at him and make him wear it

cait: I don't like when people are nice to me. that's why I like jason todd. and tim drake.

cait: if damian saw me wearing my monochrome white converse he'd buy them only to annoy me
cait: and then I'd be like "omg we have matching shoes!" and he'd instantly throw up and take them off because he doesn't want to have friends.

cait: jason todd would be mean to me but he would also teach me how to fight. he'd say "so I don't have to come save your sorry ass." but he was actually doing it...out of kindness.

me: any closing remarks about the hell I've just put you through?
caity: I know everything.