I get this. My PTSD is about not being where the shit was worst; and in keeping folks who were in a similar boat from falling apart.
It& #39;s like having a giant rubber band on a rock... you hold onto it, and walk. Eventually, it lets go, and slams into you. https://elemental.medium.com/why-am-i-still-so-miserable-15cf22f4c598">https://elemental.medium.com/why-am-i-...
It& #39;s like having a giant rubber band on a rock... you hold onto it, and walk. Eventually, it lets go, and slams into you. https://elemental.medium.com/why-am-i-still-so-miserable-15cf22f4c598">https://elemental.medium.com/why-am-i-...
When it does let go, and all the stored tension is released... it piles into you. Yeah, my time "downrange" was in it. As David Drake said, "I had a good war" Not many people trying to kill me, retail.
But even a "good war" is living 24/7 in fear (in that way the guys in WW1 had it easier. 3-10 days "in the line) then a week or two "in rest" A week or two "in reserve" (for training), then "in support" then "in the line".
Us, in the line 24/7/365.
Us, in the line 24/7/365.
So Germany was strange. I had a bed. I had food that wasn& #39;t from a bag. I had coffee. I had wine (for some reason I eschewed beer for a while, because my friends couldn& #39;t get any). No one was trying to kill me (not even "wholesale").
And I felt more nervous than I had in Iraq
And I felt more nervous than I had in Iraq
Which wasn& #39;t true. I was suddenly aware of how alert I was, all the fucking time.
So when it comes to "getting back to normal". I done it, mostly.
But 18 years later (we crossed the berm on 03 Apr, 2003) it& #39;s still there. I scan the overpass for RPGs, the skyline for snipers.
So when it comes to "getting back to normal". I done it, mostly.
But 18 years later (we crossed the berm on 03 Apr, 2003) it& #39;s still there. I scan the overpass for RPGs, the skyline for snipers.
It& #39;s gonna be hard, but you can do it. It helps to share, you are not alone.
Very much not alone.
Very much not alone.