I get this. My PTSD is about not being where the shit was worst; and in keeping folks who were in a similar boat from falling apart.

It's like having a giant rubber band on a rock... you hold onto it, and walk. Eventually, it lets go, and slams into you. https://elemental.medium.com/why-am-i-still-so-miserable-15cf22f4c598

When it does let go, and all the stored tension is released... it piles into you. Yeah, my time "downrange" was in it. As David Drake said, "I had a good war" Not many people trying to kill me, retail.

But even a "good war" is living 24/7 in fear (in that way the guys in WW1 had it easier. 3-10 days "in the line) then a week or two "in rest" A week or two "in reserve" (for training), then "in support" then "in the line".

Us, in the line 24/7/365.

So Germany was strange. I had a bed. I had food that wasn't from a bag. I had coffee. I had wine (for some reason I eschewed beer for a while, because my friends couldn't get any). No one was trying to kill me (not even "wholesale").

And I felt more nervous than I had in Iraq

Which wasn't true. I was suddenly aware of how alert I was, all the fucking time.

So when it comes to "getting back to normal". I done it, mostly.

But 18 years later (we crossed the berm on 03 Apr, 2003) it's still there. I scan the overpass for RPGs, the skyline for snipers.

It's gonna be hard, but you can do it. It helps to share, you are not alone.

Very much not alone.