to vent about this a little

I get it

I really fucking get it

whenever a celebrity comes out as a trans man or transmasc and is already getting surgery and T I hate them https://twitter.com/EST_EricSTaylor/status/1381000072352108548

pure fucking hatred because I've been out longer, because I live in a small bullshit Italian town with no doctors to turn to while they live in big fuck off American city with all their gross fucking doctors and speed run transition laws

and I HATE them, everytime

I can't watch transmasc youtubers because seeing them happy reminds me how fucking miserable I am and I HATE them for it

And I hate them because otherwise I would cry and despair and push myself back into my worst mental state possible

it's all very toxic, and it's all very pathetic

and it took me a while to realize it, to realize where it comes from and what it feeds into

it's difficult to get out of it because hatred and anger are the only way I can process my negative emotions without turning myself into an anxious terrified mess

but it's definitely toxic as all hell and I keep it to myself because dealing with this is My business and mine only

I don't get to bother, bully, harass or put the onus of dealing with my toxic reactions on innocent people living their best lives

and sometimes I wonder if some of y'all haven't understood that

getting defensive and angry when someone you don't like uses the same label as you is Your business, it's Your toxic patterns, they Don't Owe You Shit

and you have to get over yourself and start self-examining where your own hatred and anger is coming from

I recognize your anger and your pain, I know what it is I feel it too

And you are still wrong and a cunt and an asshole for lashing out at others because of it